The Donalogue by President Trump
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — In the prequel to Genesis, or as I call it Genesis Minus 1, which Pious Pence brought to my attention, the Ten Commandments that have guided my life can be found.
1“I am the boss, your President, who drained the swamp leaving only muck. Thou shalt be loyal unto to me.”
2“Thou shalt not make any images of me that reveal my obesity, my thinning hair, or use of a tanning bed.”
3“Thou shalt not badmouth me because I always punch back harder.”
4“Remember the weekend because on those days God rested and went golfing.”
5“Honor your father’s lawyer for he was a Kohain. Be sure to employ at least one lawyer who is a Kohain even if he does only a fraction of your legal work.”
6“Thou shalt not vet.”
7“Thou shalt commit adultery if she’s hot and signs an NDA.”
8“Thou shalt not pay your debts if you can declare bankruptcy.”
9“Thou shalt not disseminate fake news about me.”
10“Thou shalt covet my wealth, my wife, and my words.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.