By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Many members of the press denounced Michelle Wolf for her scathing remarks about Press Secretary Sarah Sanders at the White House Correspondents Dinner. To avert future insults of members of the Trump Administration, the group announced it will not meet hold a dinner next year unless President Trump attends the event, and Kathy Griffin delivers the monologue.
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In interviews on Fox News Rudy Giuliani disclosed that President Trump knew about Michael Cohen’s payments to Stormy Daniels and reimbursed him. Now we finally know why President Trump has not released his tax returns. Hush money is regularly listed as a business deduction.
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Rapper Kanye West told TMZ hosts, “When you hear about slavery for 400 years … For 400 years? That sounds like a choice.” Alt-Right historians agree. Slaves chose to wear chains and shackles to accessorize. They booked the Middle Passage as luxury cruises to cross the ocean and tour Southern port cities. Plantations were Five-Scar resorts with meager meals and physical workouts as inclusions. Since slaves were sexually kinky, they loved being whipped.
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If Donald Trump were Pinocchio, he would be a pole vaulter by now. If PT Barnum were still living, he’d say, “You can fool Donald Trump’s base all of the time.”
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In 2012 Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu warned the UN that Iran would possess nuclear weapon within a year and drew a diagram of a bomb to illustrate his point. Drawing on Israel’s high-tech expertise and intelligence six years later, Netanyahu has graduated to a PowerPoint presentation of documents revealing an Iran covert nuclear program from 2003. If PT Barnum were still living, he’d say, “You only need to fool one man to withdraw from the JCPOA by May 12th.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.