Humoring the headlines: August 11, 2018

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−Ever since Trump became president I have been appalled by his avariciousness, authoritarianism, dishonesty, incivility, irrationalism, narcissism, nativism, racism, and sexism.  Since I am exhausted by being outraged daily by his policies, speeches, and tweets, I am devoting this column to things that bring me joy and drive him out of my thoughts.

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Dogs: I fondly recall my deceased dog’s antics, licks, and wagging tail.  I can visualize the adoring look he always gave me.  I have observed similar love in the obsequious stare Mike Pence directs at Trump when he is talking.  Even if Trump gets ousted, that sanctimonious clone will pursue the same policies, but more politely.  I need to go on to a less disturbing topic.

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Sean Connery as James Bond:  Sean Connery will always be James Bond to me.  How brave, debonair, sexy, and witty can one man be?  Who can forget Dr. No, Goldfinger, and From Russia with Love?  Did Trump ever see the latter before he became Vladimir Putin’s pawn?  Would a remake be titled From Russia with Malice?  Oh my, I’m digressing again!

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The first man on the moon: The moon loomed mysteriously in the sky waxing and waning during each month.  It became more tangible when Buzz Aldrin and Neal Armstrong walked on its surface.  What if the proposed Space Force and not NASA had mounted that mission and the astronauts installed weapon systems there and sold craters to mining companies? We’re already destroying our own planet.  Should be broaden that rapacious effort to space?  It’s too upsetting!

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IQ: I marvel at the ability of the human to brain to analyze and learn.  Intelligence is more than spying on political rivals and foreign enemies.  It is the key to progress.  Some Trump supporters believe Q is the initial of a secret agent in the deep state who has discovered that everyone in the government except Donald Trump is implicated in an international pedophilia ring.  Anyone who believes in Q lacks any I.  Before I get too depressed, I have to end this column acknowledging that satire is my only weapon against Trump besides actively opposing his policies and voting.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

1 thought on “Humoring the headlines: August 11, 2018”

  1. Laurie, BRILLIANT. Thank you for your humor, insight, analysis, dedication to debunking should I say, the (current) history, of sick minds and the depraved. You make my day.

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