By Oliver B. Pollak
Third in a series
RICHMOND, California. You and your spouse are invited to dinner. It could be significant other, partner, friend. What can I bring. First time at the house – house warming gift, cut flowers, a plant, potluck food contribution, a seed packet, do they drink, do they both drink, chocolates, what what what. Just bring yourselves and a bottle of wine. What’s the menu, vegetarian, fish, chicken, boeuf, BBQ, goose, ha, not likely. What’s appropriate, a bubbly, white, or red?
If you are invited for Shabbat, New Year or Passover there are other considerations. Study up about Kosher wines. When dining with people who keep Kosher the California Baron Herzog label is the coin of the realm. Wine Enthusiast and Wine Spectator periodically publish articles on Israeli kosher, kosher for Passover, non-kosher, and American kosher wines. Kosher stores may have in excess of 120 choices.
“Bottle of Wine” a poem by Carl Dennis appeared in the August 6, 2018 New Yorker. I recommend it as a happy piece. Dennis won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 2002. He is the author of several poetry books including Practical Gods (2001).
Guests may have an expectation of eating what they kill, drinking what they bring, not quite BYOB. Take something you will enjoy, what you already own. Your only disappointment will be that the host takes your bottle, says ‘thank you,’ and sets it aside for another day. Now you have new expectations. Write your initials on the back of the bottle, It may come back to pleasure you.
On two recent occasions, several months after I gifted the bottle, I sat down and my earlier proffered wine was on the table, and I did not recognize it. I asked the hostess about it, and she replied, look at the back of the bottle, yup, my name, my handwriting. Another time my 82- year-old cousin brought a wine to our house. He was re-gifting it to me, the original giver. My cousin has always been playful. I am happy and relieved to report that both bottles were good stuff. Again, only gift what you look forward to drinking.
If it’s a large gathering, and several people are bringing bottles, you will have anonymity to provide run of the mill. Good but not better or great, unless you are there with family and you can corral them, lay your hand on the bottle, and serve them in clear plastic cups to your confreres. The rest is for the house. Take your own corkscrew, or find a good screw-top.
I brought a nice bottle of red to a club meeting. When we left the hostess returned the bottle to me, red spillage is too dangerous for her Turkish carpets. When a friend serves a wine, and it is off, corked or odd, do you tell your host friend they have dandruff, bad breath, or their fly is down, or tell them you just remembered your gynecologist or endocrinologist said no on wine, and pray that someone else at the table will deliver the shocking news, this is plonk, or hold your nose and drink it. Sometimes the owner of the wine presses the alarm, don’t drink it, let’s get another bottle.
Sometime in the late 1980s I filed a bankruptcy for a client facing imminent foreclosure. The clerk’s office at the Federal Courthouse was open from 8-5, but the court is actually open 24-7, though we did not yet have that expression. I took the pleadings to the Clerk of the Court’s home at 7 at night to get her rubber stamp and invoke the automatic stay. I took a bottle of wine as a thank you. She declined the gift, it was against court guidelines to receive presents.
Reciprocity is a good rule of thumb. Do unto others. What would you like to receive in similar circumstances is a guide to what you should take. Avoid ostentation. It’s their home. You don’t want to be better outfitted than the bride and groom. It’s not the battle of the bottles. You can go over the top when you are the host.
*
Pollak, an attorney and professor emeritus of history at the University of Nebraska Omaha, is a SDJW correspondent now based in Richmond, California. He may be contacted via oliver.pollak@sdjewishworld.com