Not a good year for the Cohen name

By Joel H. Cohen

Joel H. Cohen

NEW YORK — This has not been a good year for the Cohen name, or for those who bear it.

I’ve tried not to dwell on that reality, but there are constant, stark reminders — in newspapers and on TV. And, just the other day, a longtime dear friend named Jerry brought up the subject. Ironically, his last name is identical to that of a notorious deceased mobster, though not related. Years ago, when he led a business group to Las Vegas, he was pleased that, because of the name, the group was given upfront seats in a nightclub. But Jerry spent that evening fearing that some rival mob holdover might be looking to wreak vengeance on an apparent descendant of the mobster.

We have our own problems.

Years ago, the Cohen name was sullied big time by Roy Cohn (no “e” ), the ruthless assistant to the villainous Sen. Joe McCarthy. Currently, the most prominent Cohen name-damager is Michael Cohen, who was seemingly happy to be known as “fixer” for President Trump. A mother, notably a Jewish one, might speak with pride of “my son, the doctor” or “my son, the professor,” but “my son, the fixer”? Not very likely. He’d not be welcomed at a family-circle meeting (if we had one).

To no one’s surprise, that appellation has hurt all Cohens, including my family.  (Full disclosure: Our family name in Russia was something like Kazdan, but somehow during the immigration process, either accidentally or by design, it was changed to Cohen.)

Not that I’m complaining. But when reports circulated that Michael Cohen had secretly taped conversations with the president, I had the irrational feeling that. when people heard my last name, they were ready to pat me down for hidden recording devices.

More recently, Michael, who’d said he’d “take a bullet for the president,” took a much different approach. Pleading guilty to violating Federal finance laws, he “flipped.” That’s” a sometimes controversial action by which an accused or convicted bad guy decides to cooperate with authorities, and reveals all he knows about a bigger scoundrel, in return for a lesser sentence. Michael revealed that, at the direction of the president. he had arranged for “hush money,” possibly illegally from campaign funds, for two women who claimed to have had affairs with the president.

In this instance, the desire to implicate the bigger fish apparently trumped any concerns about the implications of flipping.

Reports circulated recently that one influence on Cohen was a comment from his father: “I didn’t survive the Holocaust to have my name sullied.” Good for both father and son, if that terrible chapter of Jewish history had a positive impact.

Cohen’s guilty pleas to the two hush-money charges accompanied guilty pleas to five counts of tax evasion and one count of making a false statement to a bank. Nothing to shed glory on the Cohen name.

But despite the bad press we get, many Cohens — some who spell the name differently and some not Jewish — behave admirably.

For instance, Gary D. Cohn, the president’s chief financial adviser, complained about the Charlottesville rally, in which the president equated neo-Nazis who marched with those who opposed them. Cohn, who’d been urged to resign, said he would not allow “Nazis ranting ‘Jews will not replace us’ to cause this Jew to leave his job.”  Sometime later, he did resign.

Still, there’s fallout in unexpected places from our namesakes’ bad behavior. In my synagogue, there’s less Cohen-envy than formerly, and congregants seem wary about the holiday blessings uttered by the Kohanim (Cohens).

We have four adult children, all good citizens. But – who knew? – we gave one of them a middle name, Michael – and, should he ever forget to sign in with his first name, people could mistake him for “the” Michael Cohen.  We apologize

Most of us kvell when someone of our ethnic group does something good. and shudder when someone does something wrong. The name reaction is that syndrome at a more intense level.

So what to do?.

I’m still proud of the family name, but maybe, until the current storm blows over, call me Kazdan?

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Cohen is a freelance writer based in New York.  He may be contacted via joel.cohen@sdjewishworld.com