Humoring the headlines: November 9, 2018

Trump Speak

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO −“Discount” means invalidate absentee and provisional ballots cast in predominantly Democratic precincts.

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“Very close to complete victory” means Republicans won the Senate despite receiving 12,000,000 less votes than the Democrats and lost over 30 seats to the Democrats in the House.

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“Accosted” means CNN correspondent Jim Acosta brutally beat a White House intern within an inch of her life.

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“Unwhitakeringly” means I had no idea that Matthew G. Whitaker had denounced the Mueller Investigation before I appointed him.

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“Limmigration” means I will continue to keep foreigners from seeking asylum or immigration to the United States.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally