What might they say at President Trump’s state funeral?
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Hearing the eulogies for George H. Bush by a former Canadian Prime Minister, Secretary of State, President, and his biographer, I wondered what their Trump counterparts might say at his funeral.
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Former Trump Secretary of State Rex Tillerson: “So often, the President would say here’s what I want to do and here’s how I want to do it and I would have to say to him, Mr. President I understand what you want to do but you can’t do it that way. It violates the law.”
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Trump biographer Michael D’Antonio: “For Trump truth is just another rule to be broken.”
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Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau: “Canadians did not take it lightly that the United States has moved forward with significant tariffs on our steel and aluminum industry, particularly the fact that it’s based on a national security reason that for Canadians, who either themselves or whose parents or community members have stood shoulder-to-shoulder with American soldiers in far off lands and conflicts from the First World War onwards, that it’s kind of insulting.”
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Jimmy Carter: “I think he’s a disaster … In human rights and in treating people equal.”
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George H. W. Bush: “I don’t like him. I don’t know much about him, but I know he’s a blowhard.”
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Bill Clinton: “My mother would have whipped me for five days in a row when I was a little boy if I spent all my time badmouthing people like this.”
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George W. Bush: “Wow, this guy doesn’t know what it means to be President.”
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Barack Obama: “Trump is just capitalizing on resentment that politicians have been fanning for years. A fear, an anger that is rooted in our past but is also borne in our enormous upheavals that have taken place in your brief lifetimes.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.