By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — Sometimes, when people comment to me, “Oh, you’re left-handed,” I respond, “I was right-handed, but the nuns made me change.” “Oh, that’s terrible,” they’ll say, not realizing that Cohen and nuns do not usually share a history, and that traditionally the forced change of handedness in various cultures was from left to right, not right to left.
I apologize and confess that I was only kidding. But biases and forced changes against left-handedness do exist.Take language: uncomplimentary adjectives, gauche and sinister, for instance, mean left in French and Latin, respectively. And something unexpected, odd or strange is not from center or right field, but “out of left field.”
The design of such simple items as a pair of scissors pose special challenges for lefties. And an Army rifle was challenge enough without trying to transform the customized “righty” directions into lefty. Paul McCartney managed to magnificently play guitar left-handed, but too daunting a task for most.In my last year of college, a few left-handed desk chairs were brought in, but by that time we were so used to the right-handed ones, the new additions didn’t help. Seating is always a problem. I try to make sure I have a left-hand corner seat, to avoid bumping arms with righties while eating.
In some baseball positions, left-handedness is a an asset, but it’s still a right-hander’s world. Just think of which hand we shake when greeting someone, which hand we salute the flag with, or with which we take an oath. Some cultures were exceedingly cruel to left-handers. One, for example, would put a left-hander’s left hand into a burning pit, to encourage a transition. Even when less-inhumane cultures forced lefties to change, it sometimes resulted in nail-biting, clumsiness or stuttering.
And then, there’s our own Judaic history, replete with anti-lefty customs and regulations.True, there’s a rule for binding tefillin with a stronger arm and so a lefty is encouraged to bind his arm phylactery with his left hand onto his right arm. But the pluses are in the right-hand column. When Jacob blessed Ephraim and Menasheh, he placed his right hand on the head of Ephraim, the younger brother, thus ensuring that his nation would be destined to be the greater one. Steps back at the end of the Amidah are to start with the left (weaker) leg, to show reluctance to leave the presence of the Almighty. Also, the intricate order of washing, dressing, holding the Kiddush cup or leading benching highlight righty-preference, intended to give honor to the right hand. According to one writing, the general rule in enforcing Temple ceremonies is that every step must be made to the right. And — yikes! –left-handedness is a priestly disqualification!Biblical kings sat their queens or other guests of honor at the right side. The good angel sat the right; the evil at the left…and so on.
It may be gauche to say this, but while we’re only 10 percent or a little larger percentage of the population, lefties tend to be more artistic and creative.And so we cite such famous left-handers as Babe Ruth, Marie Curie, U.S. presidents Carter, Kennedy, Clinton and Obama, and others who started out as left-handers but were forced to change. Also, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Pablo Picasso and Leonardo da Vinci, though some say the great Leonardo could use both hands equally and even simultaneously. Benjamin is translated as son of the right hand. But Benjamin Franklin was left-handed and very passionate about it. He wrote an essay, “A Petition From the Left Hand,” which was translated into classical Hebrew,” in which he complained of discrimination on the part of teachers and claiming equal rights with his right-handed sister.
But while we may boast of talented, outstanding fellow lefties, the right-handers land the crowning blow: so was Jack the Ripper lefty. So, ultimately, I guess we’ve got to hand it to them, Right?
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Humorist Joel Cohen is a freelance writer based in New York City.