Space News
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−Scientists released the first photograph of a Black hole in the universe. Looking closely at it, Democrats in Congress expect that it looks a lot like redacted version of the Mueller Report Bill Barr will release next week.
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Israel’s spacecraft Beresheet crashed during its attempt to land on the moon. Palestinian astronomers claimed it was shot down by Lunarians who feared that Trump would recognize Israeli sovereignty over the moon if it had landed safely.
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Asked to explain why Beresheet had failed, the Israeli government replied, “It was just a beginning! We need six more days to get it right.”
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On his visit to Calexico, President Trump warned asylum seekers and immigrants from Central America: “We can’t take you anymore. We can’t take you. Our country is full.” Then he signed an Executive Order for ICE and NASA to develop a program to deport them to a space detention center developed by Elon Musk.
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The Senate Armed Services Committee held its first hearing on the President’s proposal to create a Space Force. Though not called to testify, the Acting Secretary of Homeland Security Kevin McAleenan sent a memo recommending that the Space Force be tasked with preventing other planets and galaxies from sending their worst aliens to commit crimes, smuggle drugs, and rape earthlings. He concluded by asserting, “None of them are good people.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.