Humoring the headlines: April 20, 2019

Alternative Facts and Interpreting the Mueller Report

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence Baron. expert on Holocaust films

SAN DIEGO−Conclusion of Volume 2 of the Mueller Report: “If we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, we are unable to reach that judgment. Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

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Donald Trump’s Reaction to Mueller Report: “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION.”

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Kellyanne Conway: “You’re saying it’s a falsehood and Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that.”
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Chuck Todd: “Alternative facts are not facts. They are falsehoods.”

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George Conway: “What the Mueller report disturbingly shows, with crystal clarity, is that today there is a cancer in the presidency: President Donald J. Trump,”

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Albert Camus: “But again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. The schoolteacher is well aware of this. And the question is not one of knowing what punishment or reward attends the making of this calculation. The question is one of knowing whether two and two do make four”

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.