Humoring the headlines: August 21, 2019

The Jest Is Commentary

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence Baron

SAN DIEGO−Politicians have made insane remarks in the past week.  In a just world, their stupidity automatically would elicit these comments.

Iowa Congressman Steve King: “What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled those people out that were products of rape and incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that? Considering all the wars and all the rapes and pillages taken place and whatever happened to culture after society?”  I can’t certify that I’m not a part of a product of that.”  Even without an Ancestry DNA test, I already knew Steve King was a bastard.

The White Supremacist Proud Boys held a rally in Portland ostensibly to get the Federal government to declare Antifa a domestic terrorist group.  Donald Trump tweeted, “Major consideration is being given to naming ANTIFA an “ORGANIZATION OF TERROR.”  Apparently, all the “fine” people have quit Antifa and joined the Proud Boys.

Responding to Denmark’s refusal to sell Greenland, Donald Trump replied, “Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time.” This prompted Mike Pence to muse, “Let’s buy the North Pole because it possesses more strategic value in fighting against the war on Christmas.”

Ken Cuccinelli’s rewrite of the Emma Lazarus poem inscribed on the base of the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired and your poor who can stand on their own two feet and who will not become a public charge.”  Emma Lazarus responded by tweeting, “WTF?”

Donald Trump asserted, “”I think any Jewish people that vote for a Democrat — it shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty.”  Israel’s President Reuven Rivlin: “I believe that our democratic values are also born out of our Jewish faith, a ‘love for the stranger,’ and equality before the law – these are not foreign values: this is Judaism.”

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.