Eight Bad Dates: Terrence a.k.a. M.B.

-Third in a Series-

By Eva Trieger

SOLANA BEACH, California — “Well, I’m going to be in your neck of the woods, so why don’t you suggest a place for us to meet for lunch,” I opened. Terrence didn’t hesitate for a moment. He came back with, “Yes. Let’s go to my favorite restaurant: Applebees.” Delighted to learn that he was a gourmet, I gave a short, “uh, okay.”

I had been set up with Terrence through a dating service, which will remain nameless, and I won’t do them the favor of free advertising. I thought in reading his profile that we’d have some common ground. He was from Massachusetts, my home state. He had relocated to Southern California and yeah, well, that was about the extent of the overlap. Terrence was employed, had his teeth and spoke English too. I mean it wasn’t a total mismatch.

Okay, so I pull up outside the restaurant, and see a fellow with a cell phone, who vaguely resembled the headshots I’d seen. However, this guy seems rather involved in his conversation, so I enter the place, and stand by the hostess station. Terrence comes in and covers the mouthpiece, “I’m talking to my mom.” I smile and nod.

He continues, “Mom, they have Razzleberry Pie for $5.69. With tax, it’s $6.22. I’ll buy it and you can pay me back. Oh, you’re at Longs? Yes, get me the Pert Shampoo for extra oily hair. Love you, bye.” Way too much information for me! Terrence greets me, and we are shown to a booth.

The conversation flows and we discuss the trip that M.B. (Mama’s Boy) has recently taken. He went on a bus trip to France. Herein he describes visiting with aunts, and cousins. No, he’s never been married. He took this romantic tour with Mom. Apparently, she is a really significant part of his world. I think he was really only comfortable with older women from all of his talk about tea houses and antiques.

In fact, I felt that I was out to lunch with an old woman. Even more so when the check came, and he took out a calculator to determine a 15% tip on his $10.69 meal, and then did me the favor of doing the same for my portion.

Next: Hard Hat Bill

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Trieger is a freelance writer based in Solana Beach, California.  She may be contacted via eva.trieger@sdjewishworld.com