Toldot
SAN DIEGO — If you’re looking for a love story, this week in Toldot, we read a magnificent one, in fact the first. You see, we are told that husband and wife are to, “cleave to each other and become one flesh.” This is precisely what Isaac and Rebecca teach us so perfectly. In fact, they even prayed as one. We see this in the gematria of Yitzhak יצחק and Rebecca רבקה totaling 515, which equals to the gematria of בשר אחד or “one flesh.” Even more, 515 is also the gematria of tefilah תפלה.
Is the Torah telling us that love and prayer are one? Are יצחק and רבקה coming along to show us what proper love and proper prayer are all about? After all, the first time we see the word “love” in the Torah is in regards to this couple. Marriage, like prayer, יצחק and רבקה teach us this week, is wisely filled with gratitude, praise and compliments more than a list of complaints and requests. When we pray, we fill ourselves with a reminder of all of the wonders that Hashem has done, and will do, in our lives.
Prayer is less about asking Hashem for things than thanking Him for our lives. The same can be said about wise marriages – we are helpers of each other, not simply givers to each other. Think of prayer and marriage filled with positivity, gratitude and praise – that’s what יצחק and רבקה reveal to us in Toldot. In fact, the Torah says “Isaac prayed to Hashem opposite his wife…”What does this mean, “opposite his wife”? Our Sages explain that they were in unison, and some say they literally embraced each other face-to-face while praying. Rebecca stood opposite Isaac to be a helper, not an opponent.
The unity of love is seen in the numerical values of the words echad (one) and ahava (love) being the same. Genuine love is a state of being in which two become one flesh, united in their desires and fate. The deeper a couple is aware of their unity, the stronger is the their love.
One flesh. Reminds me of the couple who goes to the doctor because the wife injured her foot. The husband accompanies his wife into the exam room and when the doctor asks what brings the wife in, the husband answers, “Doctor, my wife’s foot hurts us.” Us. Unity.
Look in the “Nishmat Kol Chai” prayer we say every Shabbat. Find the acrostic the prayer ends with…it’ll be another reminder for you of how love and prayer are truly entwined.
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Dr. Mantell writes a d’var Torah each week for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family worship.