SAN DIEGO−Thou shalt not covid thy neighbor’s wife or anyone else in your neighborhood.
The early bird fetches the toilet paper.
Don’t count your sick ones until they’re tested.
Never look anyone in the mouth unless they’re standing six feet away from you.
What you know can hurt you if you heard it from the President or on Facebook.
People of a feather no longer flock together.
There is such a thing as a free lunch if you’re young and food insecure. Pick it up at your school.
The President who hesitates or minimizes is lost.
Let your smile be your umbrella, but wash your hands, wear gloves, and disinfect surfaces too.
You are never too old to stay at home.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.