Crowding indoors with family not really that bad

By Rabbi Dr. Michael Leo Samuel

Rabbi Michael Leo Samuel

CHULA VISTA, California — This morning I had an interesting thought I would like to share with you. I call it the “poetics of space.” Most of you have probably heard the famous line from the beginning of the Star Trek show, “Space—the Final Frontier.” How we utilize space that we share—now that’s a real challenge!

Social distancing provides a practical approach to a community faced with a growing pandemic. Many of us are afraid to go outside and interact with others—without wearing a face mask and protective gloves. Many of my congregants have complained to me about having to stay indoors for such a long period of time.

Yet, it has to some degree created some problems with close couples and their families sharing the same space for unusual periods of time. It’s easy to get on your significant other’s nerves because we feel spatially “confined.” Everyone seems to be stepping on each other’s toes.

I am reminded of a charming Hassidic story about a farmer who once complained there was too much noise in his house. Wherever room he entered, everyone was talking so loud—he felt as though he was going crazy. In an effort to find a solution to his problem, he went to the local town rabbi, a man known for his wisdom.

The prescription the Rabbi gave him made no sense to him at all! At first he tells him to bring in the chickens, goats and sheep (Note that Jewish farmers had no pigs!). Well, if the situation was bad before, it got even worse with all the farm animals contributing their noise to the house.

Feeling upset and angry at the Rabbi, he stormed into his office and blamed him for making the situation worse! The rabbi closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He instructed the following advice ““This is what you do. Take your sheep back to the barn. Take your goats back to the barn. Take your chickens back to their coop and come back and see me in few days.”

The farmer ran home and did exactly as the rabbi had told him. As he took the animals out of the house, everyone did their part to clean the place up; the house finally had a neatness and gave everyone a comfortable feeling that there’s no place like home.

A few days later, the farmer felt a remarkable difference. His home had become quieter and more peaceful than what it was before. He thanked the rabbi profusely for solving his dilemma.

As I thought about this story, the message seemed obvious. Although many of may seem to be stepping on each other’s toes as we anxiously deal with this mysterious pandemic, the good news is this: we will find a vaccine; life will return to normal—and none of us will have to feel as though we are like lepers forced to live in a special shelter reserved for lepers.

Yet, spending more time at home need not be a psychological burden. It is an opportunity for families to actually listen to one another. Many parents seldom sit down to talk with their children, and fail to engage them in a meaningful way. It’s one thing when you have a parent living in the opposite part of the country; it’s quite different when you talk with your parent inside your own home.

Most young people and adults prefer to speak to their virtual friends on the Internet than to each other. But it doesn’t have to be that way. While we are worried about the spread of this virus, it’s important we talk about it with our families.

And afterward, take out the Scrabble or chess game and have some good old-fashioned fun! Sometimes an illness can help us gain perspective on what is really important; let’s use this time together to nurture the ties that bind us as a family.

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Rabbi Dr. Michael Leo Samuel is spiritual leader of Temple Beth Shalom in Chula Visa.  He may be contacted via michael.samuel@sdjewishworld.com