Other items in today’s column include:
*San Diegans salute Israel
*Recommended reading
SAN DIEGO — With prayers, reflections and songs, first from her home synagogue, Chabad of Poway, and later from around the world, Jews memorialized Lori Gilbert Kaye, who was slain one year ago during a gunman’s attack that also wounded Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein and two congregants, Almog Peretz and his elementary-school-aged niece Noya Dahan.
Rabbi Mendel Goldstein, who succeeded his father as spiritual leader of Chabad of Poway after the shooting, emceed the webcast memorial service, which began at 10 a.m. San Diego time. He recalled that after the shooting attack, which came on the last day of Passover, he and his family reconvened at his family home and continued to recite their Passover prayers. To do so, he said, was an expression of the important theme of Passover: Freedom from oppression.
Dr. Howard Kaye, the husband of Lori Kaye, said his wife was loved by so many people because no matter what their religion or nationality, she responded whenever someone was ill or in trouble. He related that following her funeral, he received a bill from the mortuary which was only half the expected cost. He said he thanked the mortuary owners, but said that the reduction in price wasn’t necessary. In response, the mortuary owners said that over the preceding 20 years, Lori Kaye had attended almost every funeral for which they had handled the arrangements, always having a kind word, even for people she hardly knew. The mortuary was giving to Lori “the employee discount,” Dr. Kaye related
Turning to the theme of how the coronavirus pandemic is affecting the world, Dr. Kaye said it was his hope that people will use the time to reflect how, like Lori, “we can be better”; that “taking the high road is a better way to go” and that we all can “be a light unto the nations.”
Cantor Shlomo Simcha then chanted El Moleh Rachamim, a traditional mourning prayer.
This was followed by a prerecorded reflection from the former Chief Rabbi of the British Empire, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, who said that Lori Kaye’s life exemplified what Jews mean by the traditional expression, “May her memory be a blessing!” It means may the memory of her deeds make us better people, Sacks said.
He added that in Hebrew the word for “crisis” also connotes the “birth of something new,” as for example the Exodus from Egypt led to the Revelation at Sinai.
Brothers Fritz and Shlomo Rabin then sang one of Lori Kaye’s favorite songs expressing the thought that while the world is a narrow bridge, the main thing is not to fear but to trust in Hashem.
Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson, who compiled many of the thoughts of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson into books, related a story about Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein, whose right finger was shot off in the attack by a lone gunman, who is now awaiting trial. Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein said that his father, Rabbi Yosef Goldstein, used to love to point with his index finger when teaching children a song about how God is up, down, here, there, everywhere. Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein had thought that without his index finger, he no longer could point. But, in fact, said Rabbi Jacobson, that televised interview was seen by millions of Americans for whom the idea of God’s omnipresence was reinforced.
Jacobson reflected that the Lubavitcher Rebbe had urged every school in the world to have a moment of silence each day to give children the opportunity to reflect upon such issues as who they were, what were their values, what would be the purpose of their lives. Today, the coronavirus pandemic has the whole world at home, with the opportunity to do just that, RabbiJacobson said. He suggested providence was enabling all the people in the world to press the “restart” button on their lives.
Rabbi Avraham Fried, a composer and singer of inspirational songs, performed one of Lori Kaye’s favorite songs which teaches that while sometimes people may feel all alone, wherever they are, wherever they go, Hashem (God) goes with them.
The local memorial ended with the Rabin brothers singing the popular prayer for peace, “Oseh Shalom.”
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At noon San Diego time, another memorial service got underway, this one sponsored by the Combat Anti-Semitism Movement. It featured reflections by international diplomats, rabbis and Jewish laypersons, as well as some poetry and song.
Moderated by Sacha Roytman Dratwa, director of the Combat Anti-Semitism Movement, headliners were Elan Carr, the United States Special Envoy to Combat Anti-Semitism; Ahmed Shaheed, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Freedom of Religion and Belief; and Danny Danon, Israel’s Ambassador to the United Nations.
Carr contrasted the loving kindness for which Lori Gilbert Kaye was known with the “hate-filled, venomous murderer who attacked the synagogue. He said the nations of the world need to be at war with the ethnic supremacists of the right as well as those anti-Semites on the left and from militant Islam.
In speeches around the world, such as one at a synagogue in Halle, Germany, which had been the target of an unsuccessful attack last Yom Kippur, Carr said he has urged countries to insure the safety of worshipers, to endorse the International Remembrance Alliance’s (IHRA) working definition of anti-Semitism; to take action against the spread of hate on the Internet; and not only to teach in schools against anti-Semitism, but also to teach philo-Semitism, covering the contributions that Jews have made to every country.
He added that if people can rededicate themselves “to fighting and vanquishing evil from our midst,” then the memory of Lori Kaye will be honored.
Shaheed, formerly permanent secretary for foreign affairs of the Maldives, said as the U.N.’s rapporteur on freedom of religion, he has spread the message that anti-Semitism is “a problem not only for Jews, but for everyone,” describing it as “toxic for democracy” and likening it to the “canary in the coal mine” which is first to feel the effects of the build up of toxic gasses. Expressions of anti-Semitism have increased during the coronavirus pandemic, he noted.
Working with the American Jewish Committee, he said, his recent report to the United Nations, among other provisions, stressed the role of education in promoting friendship and understanding among peoples; called on governments to combat hate speech; endorsed the IHRA’s working definition of anti-Semitism; and commended humanitarian initiatives undertaken by the Jewish community in behalf of all humanity. He added that he was heartened that 105 members of the U.S. House of Representatives wrote to the United Nations Secretary General Antonio Gutteres of Portugal commending the report. “None of us is safe when any of us in not safe,” he said.
Danon, in his brief talk, compared coronavirus to another ancient virus, that of anti-Semitism, noting that Jews were used as scapegoats during the Black Death of the 14th Century, the plague in Algeria in the 18th Century, and now the coronavirus of the 21st century. An example, he said, is the Palestinian Authority attempting to blame soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces for spreading the virus. While Israel historically has faced hostility in the United Nations, he said, he believes attitudes have been changing. He said he has conducted over 100 ambassadors to the United Nations over the years on trips to Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp complex in Poland and from there to Israel, and “today they have a new understanding of anti-Semitism.”
Rabbis who spoke during the hour long presentation include Ari Berman, president of Yeshiva University; and Yossi Eilfort, a security expert who is the son of Rabbi Yeruchem Eilfort of Chabad of La Costa.
Berman, grappling with the age-old question of why do some people hate Jews, said that it is because “they hate what we stand for,” the idea that we have a mission to teach positive values to the world and to be a light unto the nations. While we Jews need to call out and combat hate, he said, we also need to redouble our purpose to spread love and bring our values to the world.
Eilfort, who serves as a rabbi at Chabad of Pacific Palisades and also is a speaker for Magen Am, which teaches security and responses to violence, said after the attack at Chabad of Poway, he went to the home of Rabbi Goldstein’s family. In such situations, he said, everyone has a role to play, whether it be counseling adults, arranging meals, or even baby sitting the little children. After the attack, he recalled, the first thought of Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein was “how do we get more people to do good things.” Eilfort said one way would be to revive the idea of a “moment of silence” in schools, which had been advocated by the Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson.
Further, he said, Jewish communities should cultivate good relationships with law enforcement, not only professionally, but also personally. He recommended that law enforcement officials be regularly invited into Jewish synagogues and homes. Every synagogue, he said, should have people outside to both welcome friends and members and to guard against hostile intruders. He also said that attackers often are looking for “soft targets,” and often will run away if they are confronted by determined defenders.
Jonathan Morales, a Chabad of Poway congregant, was the off-duty Border Patrol Agent who chased the alleged attacker, Jonathan Earnest, from the synagogue to his car, firing and hitting the attacker’s car several times. Morales’ takeaway from the attack was while Jews may never be able to change the minds of haters, Jews can be messengers of positive values, light, and love to the general population. He said he support the “American right to bear arms,” saying that Jews must be prepared to defend themselves in such situations. He said Jews should spread the word to Gentiles that they should adopt the “Seven Laws of Noah” and he urged Jews to follow Lori Kaye’s example of reaching out to others by running errands for those in need, grocery shopping, and being a light unto the nations. Another Chabad of Poway congregant, Aubrey Meyerowitz had been scheduled to speak but audio feedback problems on his computer precluded his participation.
The Los Angeles regional director of the American Jewish Committee, Richard Hirschhaut, whose jurisdiction includes San Diego County, said a recent AJC survey highlighted how extensive the problem of anti-Semitism has become. He reported that 88 percent of Jews surveyed believed that anti-Semitism a problem; that 84 percent believes that it is getting worse, and that at least one in three Jews say they personally have been targets of anti-Semitism. He called for support of the “No Hate Act” before the Congress, which calls for more rigorous standards of reporting hate crimes. He also called upon cities, not only nations and states, to adopt the IHRA definition of anti-Semitism, noting that the City of Beverly Hills, California, was the first to do so. Hirschhaut also called for more public discussions of anti-Semitism, saying that by exposing it for the disease it is, it will “rob it of its sting.”
Abigail Winokur, a student at Yeshiva University, read a poem that described Lori Kaye as a “woman of valor” and “a martyr” who stood in the lobby between the attacker and the room in which children and Rabbi Goldstein were preparing for the last day of Passover service. The poem also saluted Morales and Army veteran Oscar Stewart, who ran toward the shots, rather than away. Aly Frank, performed a song about her home town of Monsey, where a man wielding a machete wounded five Chanukah celebrants, one fatally, in the home of a Hasidic rabbi. She paused briefly to permit participants following the doctrine of “Kol Isha” — that a man should refrain from hearing a woman sing, who is not a member of his family — to lower the sound of their computers. Titled “This Town,” the song reflected on very face having a shred of pain; that everyone was in the same emotional place, that things have to change, and that the town no longer feels the same.
Besides sponsoring online forums, such as this one, the Combat Anti-Semitism Movement has various programs, including one which Dratwa announced on Sunday: to plant an olive grove at Kfar Silver, near Israel’s border with Gaza to recognize victims of anti-Semitism like Lori Kaye. He said The Combat Anti-Semitism Movement has attracted support since its formation in February 2019 from 220 organizations and 200,000 individuals. The group also has a $50,000 prize fund for innovative ideas to combat anti-Semitism.
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San Diegans salute Israel
In our ongoing San Diego salute to Israel, which will be celebrating the 72nd anniversary of its independence on Tuesday night, we share photos of trips to Israel submitted by members of our San Diego Jewish community. In top photo, Christina de Jesus, a member of Tifereth Israel Synagogue who is a vocalist for the Conservative congregation’s Shir Hadash (New Song) Band, is silhouetted on Masada by a sunrise over the Dead Sea. In middle photo, former San Diegans Tony Witty and Judy Bailund-Witty are joined by San Diegan Doris Jaffe at the Hollywood-themed Zipporah Express Restaurant in Jerusalem, which, she said sadly, no longer is in business. At left, Anna Dashevsky Wheitz, a former employee of Holland America Line pauses during an Israeli shore excursion, to show how close Middle East capitals are located from each other.
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Recommended reading
*Rabbi Devorah Marcus of Temple Emanu-El wrote this remembrance for The San Diego Union-Tribune about the day a gunman stormed in Chabad of Poway and killed Lori Gilbert Kaye and wounded three other people.
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Donald H. Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com
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