Chai-times and humor among Florida’s Jewish retirees

NEW YORK — Of the Jewish friends and relatives who have migrated to the land of the Early Bird – southern Florida –few have supplied as many laughs and good feelings as William Rabinowitz, the fictional hero of Jerry Klinger’s book, Boynton Beach Chronicles: Tails of Norman.

William has  moved to Boynton Beach with his wife Sheila, “who has an ever-expanding ‘honey-do’ list that he has to fulfill. And fulfill it, he does, no matter how much it cuts into his anticipated time in his recliner or how many stores he must visit to bring back items with the exact quantity or specifications she’s designated (i.e. – the precise magnification of a two-sided mirror to replace one she’d dropped).

Sheila’s wife style naturally impacts William’s life stye, and he rationalizes his obedience with hopes of fulfilling the promised rewards of Friday nights granted by their ketubah (Jewish religious marriage contract).

Sheila, devoted to playing mah jong and having hair and nails done, does have a warm spot for Israel, and assigns William the task of  delivery of stuffed animals to youngsters in a remote Israeli location. The animals have been handled so that they’re “slightly used” and thus Wiliiam won’t have to pay Israeli officials a tax as if they were new and for sale.

At the urging  of Sheila’s mother, who lives nearby, they adopt a shih tzu dog they name Norman, a bundle of joy that William accompanies on morning walks and has the duty of removing Norman’s deposits from neighbors’ lawns. Raising a Jewish dog, in William’s case, means also taking the pet for obedience training and grooming.

Fun so far, but for this reader, the book really picks up steam (goes into chai gear, you might say) after William accidentally meets and befriends Mendel, a new arrival from the north, a stereotypical Chasid in appearance. Bearded with earlocks, his ever-present tzitzis (fringes from the mini tallis he regularly wears) he’s dressed in black from hat to shoes, except for a white shirt.

Beyond his Chasidic background and  observance, Mendel has worldliness and universal wisdom The two men, from different areas  of Judaism, bond and become fast friends. William helps Mendel get a job as toll-taker on the Florida Turnpike, and the Chasid, who doesn’t work on Shabbos or Jewish holidays, and who uses a plastic tray so that he won’t accidentally touch a woman toll-payer, becomes a most popular attendant.

Despite their different shades  of Judaism, Mendel and William’s conversations are delightful, especially when they trade relevant quotations from such diverse sources as Jewish mystics, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mae West, and all sorts of sages in between.

On their many outings with Norman, they address such universal issues as whether a dog has a soul and why Jews are so fond of Chinese food
(won ton lust?). Mendel, of course, adheres strictly  to laws of kashruth, and keeps his own dishes and silverware at the  Rabinowitz home.

There are stories of Jewish origins in Europe, including William’s forebears…Jewish cowboys…Jewish gunslingers (William even joins a  rodeo group). There are Jewish and Hebrew songs (for instance, “David Hamelelch) and lots of Yiddish and Hebrew words and expression, usually translated on the spots, but there’s also a six-page glossary, which would be helpful with other texts as well.

There are some serious portions in the book, treated with respect and often, impact, by Klinger. For example, William’s heartfelt conversation with his seemingly radicalized college-age grandson about Israeli-Palestinian relations…reaction to a Florida shul filing for bankruptcy…the apparent lessening interest in Holocaust remembrance in Florida….stories of Holocaust survivors he knows, and the account of a friend who was a member of the Kindertransport who with other Jews in Scotland, was viewed with suspicion during WWII because they’d come from Germany

But most of the accounts  in the book are  funny, as when William takes Mendel to a rodeo, or explains that the “R” In in the name of his eating group. R.O.M.EO.S stands for “raunchy,” Not “retired” as it does in most descriptions of Men eating out groups.

After finishing Boynton Beach Chronicles, I have two  hopes: One that William gets to redeem the promise of his Ketubah on Friday nights…and second, that the next time he and Mendel the Chasid venture out with Norman,  they invite me along. I think you might want to join them, too.

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Humorist Joel H. Cohen is a freelance writer who lives in New York.