A Torah command to speak softly, gently

For Shabbat, May 9, 2020

Parasha Emor

By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.

Dr. Michael Mantell

SAN DIEGO — Perhaps we need this week’s parasha, Emor, more than many other times in our history. With protests for and against seemingly everything, vitriol and bitterness filling the media, contempt and temper raging in many homes, and hostility and acrimony swelling in the political arena, what we can learn from Emor, speaking with love and sensitivity, is vital to our healthy future. And isn’t it interesting that we read Emor during the Omer, words that appear to be the same, but jumbled? Could it be because we stop counting the Omer when we receive the eseret hadibrot, and dibrot, daber, emor, vayomer, ve’armata, are all words connected to speaking, specifically, Hashem speaking to all of us? But just what’s the difference between speaking and…speaking?

It seems that for many, rebuking and scolding another with whom we disagree is becoming more and more commonplace, especially with the amplified stress of the current pandemic’s physical isolation tightening our lives. From parents losing patience with each other and with their at-home-schooled edgy youngsters, to increasingly severe disputes and contention between people, a side-effect of COVID-19 is a lack of understanding, and a decline in kindliness, warmth and thoughtfulness.

The word, “emor,” found three times in the first verse of the parasha, means “to say,” “to speak” – but softly, kindly perhaps even in a whisper, according to the Mechilta, Rashi Yisro 19:3. The redundancy of the word we are informed in the Talmud Yevamot 114a cited in Rashi’s opening commentary to this week’s portion (24:1), is “to caution the adults concerning the children.” Specifically, it seems that Rashi associates the word emor with the obligation of educating our children, and in a certain caring, compassionate manner. We don’t find the word, “daber” in this week’s reading, that also means to speak, but in an emphatic and commanding manner. Emor is a softer, kinder, tender, more gentle way of speaking. This offers insight into how adults would best speak with children and by extension, how we would wisely best speak with each other – promoting ahavas and achdus Yisrael (love and unity among the Jewish community). Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev teaches us that when we act from anger or fear, from negative feelings, without kindness and compassion to others, and then stop and realize the damage we are doing through our language, this can energize us to do teshuvah.

Speech can make life better or bitter. It can corrupt or it can comfort. Through our speech we can motivate ourselves and others toward doing good or doing “gornisht” (nothing). We can use our words to draw near or to push away. Our sages teach that we have the ability through the way we speak to do good, to do chesed, to make the world a better place.

COVID-19, bringing Cheerfulness, Optimism, Vibrate positively, Illuminating the darkness, and Discovering delight, (COVID), is our opportunity to apply the lesson of Emor. One way we can improve ourselves is by taming our speech. Through kinder speech we can create a far better world. Perhaps this is why Shlomo HaMelech teaches us, “Mavet v’chayim b’yad lashon” (Mishlei 18:21), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” “Baruch Atah Hashem Elokeynu Melech Haolam Meshaneh Habriot” “Praised are you Hashem our G-d who has created a variety of different types of people/who changes creatures/who makes strange and unusual creatures/who makes creatures different.” Perhaps we’d be wise to simply look at each other and remind ourselves, “B’tzelem Elokim.” “Made in God’s image.”  Let’s use our words to be priest-like and respect all.

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Michael Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly d’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family worship.  He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com