SAN DIEGO — As a retired history professor, I wonder how and what I’d be teaching in the age of Trump. Although I rank him below Andrew Johnson on the worst presidents list, I discern the implications of what he says and does for my pedagogy if I ever resumed my career. For example:
If I never tested my students, I would never know who was failing my courses. It would mean I’m a great teacher because no one ever failed my courses.
*
I would welcome students who were coughing and sneezing to attend my classes because to do otherwise would infringe on their First Amendment rights to share their colds and flus with others. I wouldn’t even offer them Kleenex because it would make them look sick.
*
If I locked the door to my classroom, I could assure that only students who agreed with my interpretation of the past were admitted.
*
If something starts in a particular place, it should always be labeled as such. From now on, I will call the illness afflicting our nation since 2017 the German weasels.
*
If I still offered my Holocaust course, I would explain to my students that it happened because there were a few bad apples in the SS and the Nazi Party. Only German anarchists and communists would have protested Hitler’s anti-Semitic policies with signs proclaiming “Jewish Lives Matter.”
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.