SAN DIEGO — Here are some headlines I’d like to see:
Louie Gohmert in Auto Accident: Not Injured But Blames Seatbelts.
Donald Trump Bans TikTok. Spike in Millennial Voter Registration Ensues.
Portland Declares Independence: Adopts Confederate Flag to Honor Secessionist Heritage.
Coronavirus Vaccine Developed; Ineffective in Republicans.
Trump Confiscates Covid-19 Tests and Replaces Them with Cognitive Tests.
UPS and Federal Express Lend Their Fleets and Staff to Post Office to Deliver Mail in Ballots.
Pelosi to Debate McConnell: “Can a Family of Four Live on $200 a Week?
Successful Cloning of DNA from John Lewis.
Trump Crowns Himself King in Perpetuity, Even Barr Deems It Unconstitutional
Stella Immanuel Confirms Fred Trump Was Carrier of Demon Sperm
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.