SAN DIEGO — Editor’s Note: Laurie Baron, Ph.D, envisions how U.S. President Donald Trump would rewrite the history of the United States. Here is a link to Part I, the colonial period.
The New Republic (not to be confused with the fake news magazine)
1776-1783: In the Revolutionary War, the United States fought for its independence under the banner of “America First.”
1787-1790: The new country drafted and ratified its constitution which stipulated that president has absolute power; presidents are chosen by electors because the popular vote is rigged; the Supreme Court is appointed and beholden to the president; and the two legislative bodies whose power can be checked by presidential vetoes and ignored through executive orders.
1789-1797: George Washington became the first president and the last intelligent general to hold this office. What a sucker! He had wooden teeth, but didn’t ask for a deferment.
1789-1791: The Bill of Rights was drafted and ratified. It consisted of 10 amendments.
The first builds a wall between church and state thus setting the precedent for building a wall. It also says something about freedom of assembly and press, and speech, but the government realized that the exercise of these freedoms causes disorder and promulgated the Insurrection Act of 1807 to suppress such anarchy.
The second encourages citizens to arm themselves and form paramilitary groups to defend themselves and the suburbs from the deep state.
The third forbids the quartering of soldiers in private homes thereby justifying their deployment in American streets because they have nowhere else to sleep.
The fourth protects citizens from illegal seizures of property and papers like tax returns.
The fifth outlaws self-incrimination in trials reinforcing the prior amendment’s ban on releasing tax returns or submitting to interrogations.
The next four aren’t important, but the tenth delegates powers not given to the federal government to the state governments like the passage of laws concerning abortion, pandemics, and slavery.
1797: John Adams elected president and divests himself from the brewery he founded.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.