SAN DIEGO — There are times in life where people hold themselves back. Afraid of failure, some stop themselves from even trying. Others are not so much fearful but simply lack confidence and motivation. This could be with regards to any goal in life from getting a job to making a new friend. It’s the unemployed people who don’t apply for their dream jobs because they don’t think they are good enough. It’s the lonely people who stay home instead of going out to Shabbat dinner because they don’t think anyone would even talk to them. It’s anyone who wants something but says “why bother?” and quits before even starting.
Feelings of inadequacy are not new to modern man. Even great biblical heroes had their doubts. Moses wasn’t confident he could lead the Hebrews out of Egypt.
“Then the LORD told Moses, ‘Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.’
But Moses protested to G-d, ‘Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?’
G-d answered, ‘I will be with you’” (from Exodus 3).
Then there was Gideon who also lacked confidence to rescue his own people years later.
The LORD turned to Gideon and said, ‘Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!’
‘But Lord,’ Gideon replied, ‘how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!’
The LORD said to him, ‘I will be with you’” (from Judges 6).
It’s interesting that G-d’s answer to both Moses’ and Gideon’s insecurity is “I will be with you”. G-d doesn’t reassure them by complimenting them, inflating their egos, telling them how wonderfully capable they are, etc. Rather, G-d reassures them with His presence alone. Maybe that’s the true source of confidence. With G-d on one’s side, one can be prepared to meet any challenge. Win or lose, they are comforted in the presence of the One who created them.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your G-d. I will strengthen you and help you” (from Isaiah 41).
After the times of Moses and Gideon came the time of David. Looking for a new king, prophet Samuel ventured to Bethlehem to visit the family of Jesse. The arrival of a prophet was a big deal that Jesse’s family and the town elders knew about. Yet David was nowhere to be found when the prophet arrived. While not impossible, it is unlikely that David would have been completely unaware of the prophet’s visit. To think that not one of David’s seven brothers said anything to him—not to mention the town elders or other community members—is unlikely. David likely heard his brothers squabbling amongst themselves to the tune of “he’ll pick me!” and “no, he’ll pick me!”.
Perhaps David had a chance to meet the prophet and decided against it. Perhaps his family thought so little of him that they didn’t see his attendance as important. While a father would be glad to have any of his sons declared king (to be the father of a king is not without its privileges), perhaps neither David’s family nor David himself thought it even remotely possible that he would be chosen. Nevertheless, the fact remains that he did not show up to meet the prophet with the rest of his brothers. When the prophet arrived to size up Jesse’s sons lineup-style, David was nowhere to be found. Maybe David didn’t think he was good enough to be king. Maybe David wanted to be king but bought into the [potential] lies of his family that said he wasn’t up for the job.
“Now the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king.’
So Samuel did as the LORD instructed. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town came trembling to meet him. ‘What’s wrong?’ they asked. ‘Do you come in peace?’
‘Yes,’ Samuel replied. ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Purify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.’ Then Samuel performed the purification rite for Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice, too.
When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, ‘Surely this is the LORD’s anointed!’
But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.’
Then Jesse told his son Abinadab to step forward and walk in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, ‘This is not the one the LORD has chosen.’ Next Jesse summoned Shimea, but Samuel said, ‘Neither is this the one the LORD has chosen.’ In the same way all seven of Jesse’s sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The LORD has not chosen any of these.’ Then Samuel asked, ‘Are these all the sons you have?’
‘There is still the youngest,’ Jesse replied. ‘But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.’
‘Send for him at once,’ Samuel said.
So Jesse sent for him. And the LORD said, ‘This is the one; anoint him’” (from 1 Samuel 16).
Fortunately, the prophet was communicating with G-d and knew that none of the seven sons presented to him were the prophesized king. This is where Samuel asks if there are any other sons and then Jesse sends for his son David. David may very well have been flabbergasted that he was chosen. He may have even regretted not meeting the prophet with all of his brothers. While this may sound like a happy ending in the Bible story, things don’t always play out so well in real life. Sometimes the best candidate for a job doesn’t apply and the hiring manager simply picks the best of the candidates who did apply. Sometimes a guy’s crush ends up marrying someone less compatible with her because that other suitor took the initiative to pursue her.
This isn’t to say that chutzpah always results in one’s desired outcome. Sometimes the people who put themselves out there meet defeat. But the point is that they try.
“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again” (from Proverbs 24).
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Teresa Konopka is a freelance writer based in San Diego.