SAN DIEGO — Ever since it was revealed that Donald Trump planned to wear a superman costume underneath his clothes after being released from Walter Reed Hospital, DC Comic’s Legion of Superheroes voted on whether to admit him to its ranks. Batman recused himself because he knew the bat that was the original source of the Coronavirus. Wonder Woman did likewise on the grounds that she had campaigned for Hillary Clinton in 2016 when she asserted that she could mercilessly pummel Trump to a pulp on Paradise Island and none of the Amazons would care. The other members of the Legion had reservations too, but voted for him on the basis of his most obvious superpower: his ability to irresponsibly infect his minions with a deadly disease. They dubbed him “Superspreader.” They even wrote the prologue to the upcoming blockbuster Superspreader:
Master of not heeding science. More paranoid than a reactionary uncle. Able to dispense disinformation in a single retweet.
Man 1: Crook! Up on the stage. It’s Mr. herd mentality.
Woman: It’s someone vain.
Man 2: It’s Superspreader!
Narrator: Yes, it’s Superspreader, deranged visitor from Queens, New York who came to Washington with powers and prejudices far beyond those of ordinary demagogues. Superspreader, who gathers his unmasked faithful in crowded rallies, under the guise that Covid’s not so bad and besides, he’s immune. And who, disguised as Donald Trump, ill-mannered president for a once great cosmopolitan country, fights a never ending battle against truth, justice and the American way.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.