By Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — As my book Paths to Power: A Woman’s Guide from First Job to Top Executive was translated into several languages, I started getting requests to speak and lead seminars in foreign countries. Some of the issues women spoke about were similar to women’s concerns in the U.S., but there were some surprising differences. In Portugal, the weekend seminar being held at the lovely Estoril Hotel was an event designed for women who were administrative assistants to heads of organizations. They were sent there as continuing education, but mostly as a reward for their work, a perk.
The hundred or so women attending the workshop all spoke English. They had just heard a talk by a well-known American business leader. As the women were filing into the conference room, I couldn’t help but notice that they were visibly upset. Usually there is happy chatter, but in this case they had a grim look about them. So before starting my talk, I decided to ask what was going on. I was told that all they heard was how they should be upwardly mobile, thinking about next steps, and how to achieve these; they were told that ambition is a trait women should aim for.
It was fortunate that I was warned, because I would have fallen into the same category of helping the women advance in their careers. This, of course, is a very American point of view that up is the only way to go, when, in fact, these women were happy with their positions, liked their jobs, and were not interested in upward mobility. What they wanted to know was how to improve their work environment and get flexible hours, as well as deal with difficult bosses and colleagues.
So I discarded my prepared talk and spent the time discussing how they could improve their work situation, how to help their bosses be more productive, and generally how to do their jobs more efficiently. Many of the work issues were similar to those in the U.S., such as juggling family and career and the expectation of being able to manage it all.
When thinking about the difference between European and American cultures, I realized how much emphasis on upward mobility there was in the U.S. Americans valued ambition in people, while ambition in European women was a detriment. My efforts had been to help women identify the next steps that would take them to a better job or at least a more interesting or lucrative horizontal move. I know that I fall into the American emphasis on what’s next. I have often asked people: “Where do you see yourself in five or ten years?” expecting something more than the status quo. When, in fact, for European women the status quo would be viewed as a plus. Europeans have strong traditions and more of an attachment to the world as it is; there is comfort with “this is the way we have always done it.” In the U.S., this is seen as a deterrent to moving up the corporate ladder. I often see store fronts in Europe with the equivalent of John Smith and Son, the expectation being that the children will continue in the path of the fathers. Here in the U.S., the hope is that the children will do better than the parents and move on to more rewarding endeavors. We Americans believe that change is inevitable and expect to manage it as a positive progression; in Europe change is seen as disruptive.
I am not an advocate for either staying put or moving on. I am an advocate for considering both options as viable ways to live and give ourselves permission to be happy wherever we have landed. We all have different arrival places; for some it is a final step, for others it is just a temporary rest on an ongoing journey.
Since my experience in Portugal, I have altered the way I work with people by accepting that some people choose to stay in place as a legitimate alternative to moving up. We have expressions that show what we value, such as go-getter versus stick-in-the-mud. I was lucky to be the last speaker; I could respond to their need to be valued in what they were doing as a final career arrival place. The women left the seminar happy to have received tips to better manage or even improve their current jobs. In spite of the few setbacks, they felt the weekend was a success and went home feeling grateful for their perk.
© Natasha Josefowitz. This article appeared initially in the La Jolla Village News. You may comment to natasha.josefowitz@sdjewishworld.com