Parasha Behaalotecha
By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — This week’s Torah reading, Behaalotecha, appears to be the basis of one of my mother’s oft-repeated sayings, “Keep complaining and I’ll really give you something to complain about.” Seems the Israelites grew tired of their monotonous diet of manna, pining for the fish and other foods they ate as slaves in Egypt. It was not so much that they coveted these foods as they were unthankful for the food they actually had. Even Moses complained, asking essentially, “Who needs this responsibility of leadership?” (Ever serve on a shul board?) Did he not appreciate his position? Hashem responds with a deadly plague of an over-abundance of quail, so much that it was coming out of the people’s noses! What’s the p’shat, the simple lesson? Not appreciating what you have brings dire consequences to your wellbeing, physically and emotionally. Complain about your life and you’ll remain where you are in your life. Praise your life and you’ll raise where you are in your life.
Got grievances? By the way, keep your complaints and grievances about others to yourself, too – recall reading this week of Hashem’s punishment on Miriam, leprosy, for gossiping, speaking ill, of Moses with Aaron. A simple lesson here is that when you are alone, guard your thoughts. When you are with others, guard your words.
It’s challenging to be happy with what we have when we are enveloped with TV shows that display the magnificent estates of others, when Google reports annual salaries of the country’s “wealthiest,” and top 10 lists of others’ accomplishments overflow throughout social media. The psychological saw, “Compare and despair,” comes to mind. Of course, there’s nothing improper with wanting more, of being ambitious, but being pleased and grateful for what we have, that’s the foundation.
Perhaps Ben Zoma has a response to this that might protect us from the “compare and despair” syndrome. “Who is rich?” he asked, to teach us the answer, “Those who are happy with what they have.” (Pirke Avot 4:1). Sure, those things might be enjoyable to have for awhile. Until we begin to desire and demand more. You see, being able to unconditionally accept life as Hashem determines it for each of us, is a key ingredient to living with optimal happiness, comfort, and wellbeing. We strive to be “perfect,” while true perfection has nothing to do with what we have, but rather, well, Rav Moshe Chayim Luzzatto (1707-1746) defined this ideal in Mesillat Yesharim, “The Path of the Just,” “When you examine the matter you will see that the only true perfection is attachment to Him, may He be blessed. This is what King David says, ‘And as for me, closeness to Hashem is my good’. . . For if man is drawn to this world and distances himself from his Creator, behold he is ruined and he ruins the world with him. But if he controls himself and is attached to his Creator and makes use of the world only as an aid in serving his Creator, then he is elevated and the world itself is elevated with him.” Complaints? Not a one. The closer to Hashem we are, the more our perspective of our material desires change. R’ Israel ben Eliezer, the Ba’al Shem Tov, founder of Hasidism, teaches that those who are wise make their cravings as nothing, as a benefit of their cleaving to Hashem.
This is a genuinely important lesson for parents to teach, especially in today’s covetous culture. Ultimately the Torah teaches, and life demonstrates, that it’s the non-material that brings true treasures and happiness. Indeed, we see inside of this week’s reading that learning and teaching Torah, connecting with our natural environment, and building respectful communal relations are wonderful paths to leading a rich life.
When we take the Torah out, we repeat from this week’s parasha, “And it was when the Ark traveled, Moshe said, ‘Arise Almighty and disperse Your enemies, and those who hate You will flee from You.’’” The materialistic culture stands as an enemy, opposite the Torah definition of who is “rich.” When we take the Torah out this Shabbat, we would be wise to be reminded of our role in educating our children – and ourselves – about complaining, comparing, greed, materialism and what the Torah understanding of being perfectly rich, really is all about.
Shabbat Shalom!
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com.