Parasha Sh’lach
By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Fear, “false expectations appearing real,” puts the brakes on a good life. Faith, “fear ain’t in this house” takes the brakes off and promotes a more enjoyable life. This week, Sh’lach reminds us just how powerful and limiting fear can be.
Yet fear is a natural, healthy response, that when mixed with hope, moves us forward to our own personal, “Promised Land.” Without faith however, fear alone cripples us.
Recall the spies coming back with this belief, “The land does flow with milk and honey. However, the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.” Caleb says, “Let’s go,” but he was ignored when the people listened to and bought the groupthink, “…the people are big and strong, and the land is difficult. The people there are giants; we looked like grasshoppers to ourselves, and so we must have looked to them.”
At that moment, Hashem decreed that entry into the land would be delayed for 40 years. This generation did not deserve entry and possession. So much for Psalm 23, “The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not fear…” Quite the punishment for fear. Is it really such a sin? Perhaps it wasn’t fear but self-perception that angered Hashem. The generation that left Egypt appears to have had a hopeless bias, a negative view of themselves and of their future. Did they prefer the humiliation they knew to the possibility of a better life? Even Moses and Aaron fell into despair.
In his wonderful book, Positivity Bias” Rabbi Mendel Kalmanson, tells of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory, describing his operating system through which he construes and interprets life: “I worked on myself to [always] look at things in a positive light; otherwise, I could not have survived.”
There is a recording constantly playing in the minds of many, telling them who they are. The problem for so many is their recording is a negative one. After all, weren’t we told we were wonderfully created by Hashem? Walking around feeling intimidated, fearful, not talented, not beautiful, steers life in a quite negative path. Feeling not up to the task? Feeling less than? That is projected wherever you go. Replaying this recording prevents one from reaching one’s highest potential. It certainly garners the wrath of Hashem. And letting our recording be influenced by the opinions of others only leads to harming ourselves. The Torah teaches us to overcome our negative, fearful thinking. Rabbi Yehudah Leib Chasman, Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, and Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz teach us that it is imperative that we be aware of our strengths and abilities. Denying this is not anivus, humility, but, according to Rabbi Avram Twerski, of blessed memory, simply folly.
Does the powerful natural emotion of fear control you? The Israelites lost confidence in Moshe and Aaron, they abandoned their purpose, they irrationally believed they were better off as slaves. We are better off working from faith – “fear ain’t in this house.” Of course, we face fearful times. Growing into our figurative “Promised Land,” our relationship with Hashem, may bring some fear. But hope and faith can overcome fear and propel us into our “Promised Land.” That is our challenge, being sh’lichim of hope and light, seeing our future filled with milk and honey, not simply terror.
Fearful? Worried? We can turn this around by thanking Hashem for being in control and for our being in the palm of His hand.
As a pious man once observed, “We were given two eyes — one very powerful for introspection, so we should find our smallest faults: the other very weak, for viewing others. Only too often we switch their functions.” The spies magnified the negative and minimized the positive – a common thinking distortion that many of us are also guilty of doing. Virtues or faults…what do you fill your mind with?
Yes, as I’ve written, “the link is what you think.” Sure, there will be dark times. Our days, our holy days, begin with the darkness, the night before – there is always hope for daylight to come…look for it. The healthiest see stars at night and rainbows after rain. It’s right there in your heart. Or perhaps in your tzitzit. Huh? You see the end of this week’s parasha finishes with the mitzvah of the strong bonds of tzitzit. Whenever life is collapsing, presents inevitable challenges, the tzitzit tell us we can bring it all together again. The mitzvah of tzitzit is to look, to remember. To see reality, not fear, and to remember our purpose, to be holy to Hashem. What a terrific way to cope with fear!
Let’s not fall for false stories, false news, and false reports but rather, from our hearts, be the positive influencers, bringing the light of Torah to our world, fearlessly, with faith and confidence.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com.