Satire: Hamlet’s Soliloquy in the Age of Covid

By Laurie Baron, Ph.D

Laurie Baron

To mask or not to mask, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The coughs and dangers of contagious Covid,
Rather than cover nose and mouth, suffocating.
Or by opposing mandates to die—to infect,
Tethered to ventilators, bereft of breath,
The long haul and virulent spikes
That flesh succumbs to, like consumption.
Stubbornly avoid, to be vaxed. A plot, Q says.
To track, perchance by Gates, aye, there’s the ruse:
For in that deception, what schemes are hatched.
When we must contend with this hyped plague,
Must give us pause—and lead us to suspect
The mask, the shot, a tyranny worse than pestilence.
For who would infringe on our bodies,
By an oppressor’s wrongs, who stole the election.
The pangs of fraud caused the delay,
For Trump to reign, due to the spurns,
From false news that drove us to insurrection.
Storming the capitol to reinstate forthwith.
Resisted by socialists who force us
To mask and vax and live a weary life.
But that the dread of something worse than death
Of a country where Black lives matter,
Where White privilege erodes
Makes us more willing to contract disease
Than to be enslaved by the CDC.
Thus conscience doth make patriots of us all
To violate the law to preserve our rights,
To congregate, drink, and rule as a minority,
Enterprises of great pith and moment.
With disregard for public health
Sacrificed by our inaction.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.comSan Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.