A Grateful Synagogue Bids a Surprise Farewell to Constant Volunteers

By Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO – Abe Goldberg’s mother, Bronia, and stepfather Harry Fajgeman died within three months of each other in the mid-1980s, but due perhaps to a communications error, most people at Tifereth Israel Synagogue were unaware that Abe and his wife, Bea, were sitting shiva, alone, at their home. Because the Goldbergs lacked the ten Jewish adults necessary to say kaddish during the seven-day mourning period, they were left feeling forlorn.

Had there been shiva callers, they might have heard how Fajgeman became stepfather to Abe after meeting Bronia in a displaced persons’ camp in Italy. Abe’s family had traveled to the camp from their Holocaust refuge in Uzbekistan, where Abe had been born some months after his Polish father, David Goldberg, was killed in the Holocaust.  Fajgerman also had lost members of his family and rather than giving Abe the last name of Fajgerman, he insisted that the boy Abe honor his slain biological father by retaining his name.

After Abe and Bea completed their shiva period, rather than be resentful about the communications snafu, they determined that to the extent possible they would make certain no one else was left without a minyan during their shiva period or when reciting kaddish in synagogue. The mourners’ kaddish prayer, usually recited on the anniversary of a close relative’s death, glorifies and sanctifies God.  It does not mention the deceased at all. However, in traditional Jewish belief, the recitation of the prayer increases the merit of the deceased ancestors.

Accordingly, Abe and Bea regularly attended morning minyan services Sunday through Fridays as well as Shabbat services on Saturdays so that they could provide at least two persons toward the ten needed. In non-Orthodox Judaism, both men and women count in the minyan.

Abe and Bea were reliable and constant volunteers for the synagogue. Bea, who was a nurse, volunteered to bake and cook in the congregation’s kitchen. Abe, an aerospace engineer, helped with building projects. Both were among the first every year to sign up as ushers for High Holy Day services. One year, Bea served as president of the Torah school; another year, Abe was named as the Men’s Club “Man of the Year.”

During the pandemic lockdown, Abe and Bea regularly walked from their home in the San Carlos section of San Diego to the residence of Rabbi Josh Dorsch, bringing to his children, Nadav and Ziva, chocolate lollipops. The young children nicknamed Bea “the Shabbat Bee.”

Saturday, November 6, was the last regularly scheduled Shabbat that the beloved couple would spend as San Diego residents with the congregation. They are moving this week to neighboring Orange County to be closer to their son David (named for his grandfather), daughter-in-law Ci-ci, and grandchildren Briana (named for Bronia) and Adam. The Goldbergs plan to sample synagogues in Orange County in the hope of finding one to which they can transfer such steady and constant loyalty.

After calling them up to make the seventh set of blessings over the Torah, Rabbi Dorsch spoke fervently about how much the couple meant to the congregation and how greatly they would be missed.

Bea’s parents, Jesse and Ruth Kropveld, were Dutch survivors of the Holocaust. Ruth had owned a millinery business in Cincinnati. Bea inherited from her a storehouse of women’s hats, one of which she proudly wore to synagogue each Shabbat morning.  The hats became her trademark and several women in the congregation wore hats in a salute to Bea.

In decorating challahs for the kiddush luncheon following the morning service, Michelle Barbour, Tifereth Israel’s director of Jewish education and youth engagement, created a design featuring the image of a woman’s hat.

Given that the distance between San Diego and the Goldberg’s new Orange County home is only about 90 miles, numerous Tifereth Israel Synagogue members expressed the hope that Abe and Bea would drive back to San Diego now and then to visit the congregation. Who knows? They might be needed again for a minyan!

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Donald H. Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com