By Eric George Tauber
CINCINNATI, Ohio — I think that most of us have a complicated relationship with Christmas. The lights are pretty, the food is tasty and many of the songs are catchy, but it’s just not our holiday. The über-orthodox just ignore it as it’s no more relevant to them than Diwali, Eid or Buddha’s Birthday, but the vast majority of us don’t live in such an ethno-cultural bubble. When you’re a professional entertainer, this relationship is heightened as it behooves you to own some Santa-themed costume pieces and know the words to Christmas carols. Some folks think we Jews have all the money. (I wish.) Yet Irving Berlin, Mel Torme and Johnny Marks all wrote iconic Christmas carols because they knew that those would be played on the radio. Far fewer people will pay you to dress up as a Maccabee and sing Sevivon in Hebrew. I shared the last of the following stories with our editor and Don was so tickled that he wanted it in an article. So here it is.
My troupe was rehearsing for a lunch banquet where I would be dressed as one of Santa’s elves. We were two elves and a living doll, but I always managed to squeeze in one mention of Chanukah.
Doll: Oh Boy! I can’t believe that Christmas is here. This is my favorite time of the whole year!
Elf 1: Christmas already?
Me: But I just got through Chanukah.
Elf 1: Oy vey.
Doll: But, I need a little Christmas.
Me: Right now?
Doll: Yes, right now! I need a little Christmas right now.
All: (singing) Haul out the holly…
It was a cute little spiel. At one rehearsal, I was feeling rather impish as we sang Santa Claus is coming to town.
Me: He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He’s a creepy old man who’s watching you
When you take off your clothes
The elf next to me burst out laughing so loudly that it stopped the song. He insisted that I do it again. Our director, a woman with young grandchildren, was not amused.
Then there was the time I was hired to play Santa Claus. I was still pretty slender in those days, so I had to pin a pillow to my tee shirt to give me the requisite girth. The gig was to walk through hospitals handing out chocolates and holiday cheer. As I handed a chocolate to one of the nurses, I noticed that her nametag read “Miriam Aaron.” With a name like that, there was no way she wasn’t Jewish. So, in my deep Santa Claus voice, I said, “Miriam Aaron, let me guess. Happy Chanukah!”
“Why, yes. That’s right, Santa Claus,” she answered.
“Oh, Santa just loves Chanukah.
Chanukah, Oy Chanukah, a yom tov, a sheyner
a lustiger, a freylicher, nito noch a zeyner
Alle nacht in dreidlach spielen mir
Zudig heise latkes, es un a shir….”
So there was Santa Claus in a hospital waiting area singing Chanukah, Oy Chanukah in Yiddish, no less. I knew in that moment who was Jewish because they doubled over with laughter while the others just looked puzzled. But if laughter is truly the best medicine, then I did the mitzvah of healing.
And that is how you bring a little Nefesh Yehudi (Jewish soul) to the Christmas season.
Happy Holidays.
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Eric George Tauber, a former San Diegan now residing in Cincinnati, is a teacher, performer, and a drama critic. He may be contacted via eric.tauber@sdjewishworld.com