By Laurie Baron, Ph.D
SAN DIEGO — After his press conference today, Donald Trump will host a costume party at Mar-a-Lago. He’s encouraging guests to dress up as shamans, paramilitary vigilantes, KKK members, or to just to wear their MAGA hats, QAnon tee shirts, and Guy Fawkes masks. It is a BYOBR event, bring your own battering rams. At the end of the party, he will incite them to attack the other hotels and resorts in the vicinity to illustrate that the goal of both commerce and politics is to drive the competition out of business.
Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz will conduct a tour of Capitol and point out all the places their craven colleagues tried to hide at on 1/6. Greene will clarify her controversial comment that Jewish space lasers ignited the California wildfires by noting that it was misunderstood as her being concerned about the welfare of a blue state like California and really referred to the mastermind of the plot, a suspicious old Jew from her hometown named Lazar.
Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger plan to place themselves in quarantine, not because of COVID exposure, but out of fear that their fellows Republicans are out to kill them.
Joe Biden will give a speech condemning the anti-democratic violence which erupted on 1/6 and continues to fester among those who believe the Big Lie. He will emphasize that the resort to violence is un-American and then don his Kevlar vest and ride back to the White House in his bulletproof limousine surrounded by Secret Service guards.
In several red states legislators will introduce election bills to limit the franchise to Americans who own property in white neighborhoods on the grounds that 1/6 never would have happened if only those people voted.
Mike Pence says he will just hang around the Capitol for old time’s sake. Members of the Proud Boys have offered to help him do that.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.