Hedy Dalin Saluted by JFS in Retirement Ceremony

By Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO — A retirement party was held via Zoom on Wednesday, Feb. 2, for Hedy Dalin, who for 21 1/2  years has served the clients of  Jewish Family Service in a variety of roles, particularly as a problem solver for elders and as a mentor for more recently hired staff members.

Michael Hopkins, JFS chief executive officer, found the gematria of a 21-year-career to be symbolic.  He noted that the number 21 may be derived from 18 plus 3.  Eighteen is the numerical value of the Hebrew word “Chai,” or life, while three “often represents stability and completeness: the three Patriarchs, the three Pilgrimage holidays” and so “when you add the two together you get the stability, the completeness, and the lifetime that Hedy has spent working at JFS and making a difference in so many people’s lives, whether it be the 100-plus staff or the hundreds and hundreds of (Holocaust) Survivors.”

One of Dalin’s projects as JFS Director of Care Management was the assembly of  Life Lessons From Holocaust Survivors, a 255-page document in which 44 survivors of the Holocaust who settled in San Diego County shared for posterity the lessons they had learned throughout their lives.

The book’s introduction explained that “the goal of the project is not to delve into their Holocaust trauma, but rather to ask, ‘what have you learned so far from life that you would like to share with others?’ The publication of their responses is an affirmation that their stories and experiences will live on to inform and inspire others.”

Marie Raftery, a former JFS board chair,  recalled that she and Dalin had “arranged for folks from the Survivor program to be seen for dental care in my Black Mountain office. We had one survivor that was so charming in the waiting room that we got backed up because the staff and other patients wanted to hear the rest of her stories and the next time she came she had knit caps for the entire staff.”

She told of a dentist some years later whom she asked if he would be willing to treat Holocaust survivors without charge. “Send as many as you like any time that you would like,” Raftery quoted the dentist as saying.  “His staff was so on board; his hygienist offered to see the patients on her lunch so the doctor wouldn’t have to pay her while she worked on them as her contribution.”

Raftery said these episodes “showed to what lengths JFS will go to provide services to its clients and involve the community.” Additionally, she added, she will always remember “our bar mitzvah boy — an 83-year-old Russian Survivor,” who, thanks to the JFS, had the opportunity to celebrate the bar mitzvah he never had the chance to observe as a youngster.

Darren Schwartz, chief planning and strategy officer for the Jewish Federation of San Diego County, wrote in: “Hedy has been teacher, partner and confidant in all things Holocaust Survivors for me.  She has taught me about the importance of being trauma informed and how to bring dignity into care. One of the highlights of my career has been working alongside Hedy fighting to secure funding and resources for Survivors in need in our community.”

Dana Toppel, JFS Chief Operating Officer, told Dalin: “You bring your voice and your courage and you stand strong for things that you believe in and I think that benefits our community no matter where you are.”

There followed a flurry of comments from past and present JFS staff members, both Jewish and Gentile, who considered Dalin to be a mentor. Among them were:

–Joel Craddock, a retired JFS senior director of housing and educational services, who said Hedy “taught me so much about Judaism.  Within a week of my joining JFS, I asked so many questions and so Hedy bought me the book Judaism for Dummies.  I read it, it was a great book, I learned so much.”

–Teri Wilner, retired program coordinator for the JFS “Serving Older Survivors” (SOS) program, who joined the Zoom conference from the East Coast where she now lives. “I loved the goals of the agency, the privilege of working with the Survivors, and equally important the support that the Survivors and I got from Hedy.  She was totally committed to finding solutions.  Many of them were financial when some of the situations just appeared hopeless.  Somehow, though, with the Rolidex of monetary contributors, her ability to write grants, and her determination and unwillingness to give up, results were usually found.”

— Antoinette Alioto, JFS director of aging connections, said she was a member of Dalin’s staff for nearly six years.  “She knows how hard we work and she really appreciated each and every one of us, and supported us in any way that she could.  She was an amazing role model for me.”

Carole Yellen, JFS senior director of strategic partnerships, moderated the hour-long tribute, and after reciting a number of positions that Dalin held during her 21-year JFS tenure, Yellen offered a prayer for retirees.   It said:

“As God blessed our ancestors on their journeys, so may you be blessed as you embark on the journey of your retirement.  May you find rest and challenge, quiet and adventure.  May you be sustained by the achievements of your work life and be inspired by the possibilities of what lies ahead.  May you allow yourself to experience both silence and rest, and may you open yourself to the new music that may emerge from that silence.”

Responding, Dalin showed a golden tzedakah box engraved with a tree of life which she had been given as a retirement gift.  She said that a tzedakah box “reminds us that we have to regularly share what we have with people who need a helping hand.”

“I believe that I have always stayed true to my values, including the importance of being a strong and determined advocate for both clients and staff,” Dalin commented. “We are blessed to have such a tremendous impact on the lives of so many different people.”

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Donald H. Harrison is editor emeritus of San Diego Jewish World.  He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com