By Lizzie “Challah Billz Correspondent” Rubin
Due to inflation, your checks made out to the Bar Mitzvah boy and your favorite Jewish charities are no longer acceptable in amounts of 18, the beloved number that symbolizes “life.” They must be made out in multiples of 22.5.
Inflation is a common and often accepted flaw of our economic society, but inflation has taken a sharp turn upward in 2021 and 2022 due to numerous factors which include, but are not limited to, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, supply chain shortages, and the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
“$18, $36, even $54 doesn’t go as far as it used to,” said Bob Green of the Jewish Animal Voting Rights Defense League. “In order to pay our administrators a livable wage, and to ensure Jewish animals have access to voting litter boxes, we encourage our community to donate in multiples of 22.5.”
Gematria scholars are debating possible meanings for the new and elusive number. In a recent interview with Harry Schwartz, a gematria scholar from Boro Park, Harry throws his hands up in the air. “And what are we supposed to do with 0.5?”
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This article is part of the San Diego Jewish World’s 2022 Purim Spoof section and is not meant to be taken literally.