Injured While Debating for the Hamantash on Chanukah, San Diego Jewish World Editor is Walking Again By Purim

“Truth,” said Mark Twain, “is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to be possible and truth doesn’t.”

Indeed, no story from the San Diego Jewish World’s 2022 Purim Spoof section can possibly top the strange reality of November 30, 2021. That’s precisely why, in honor of Purim, we’re re-sharing the epic story of that night below. We’re also pleased to report that San Diego Jewish World Editor and Publisher Jacob Kamaras, after 12 weeks of non-weight bearing status, is walking and driving again. L’Chaim!

By Jacob Kamaras

LA JOLLA — On the third night of Hanukkah last month, I organized a “latke-hamantash debate” at Congregation Adat Yeshurun — La Jolla’s 2021 rendition of a tradition, originating at the University of Chicago in 1946, which features an intentionally humorous and outlandish debate surrounding the merits of the iconic foods of Hanukkah and Purim.

So, given that news is best consumed in a timely fashion, why am I writing about this debate 10 days after the end of Hanukkah? Read on…

Following a presentation on behalf of the latke by Rabbi Eric Ertel of the San Diego Jewish Experience (SAJE), I entered the sanctuary in style, wearing my bathrobe and taking a lap around the room to the tune of the Rocky theme song, “Gonna Fly Now.” Alas, I did fly — over what seemed like a couple of completely manageable stairs. They weren’t manageable on this particular night, as I landed awkwardly and fell to the ground.

In pain, yet still driven by the adrenaline of the moment, I proceeded to deliver what turned out to be the winning debate for the hamantash. But the win came with a steep price. Upon trying to walk back to my seat, I couldn’t put any weight on my right foot. I was diagnosed with a fractured calcaneus (heel bone) later that night in the ER, and I’m now in the midst of an approximately 12-week recovery, throughout which time I still won’t be able to put weight on the foot.

While walking, driving, several key components of childcare and housework, and some other routine aspects of my life are on hold for the moment, I’ll always remember the great latke-hamantash debate of Hanukkah 2021 at Congregation Adat Yeshurun — and that memory will only grow fonder once I’m on my feet again. A little more than two weeks later, as my recovery progresses and I’m back at work, I’m grateful to be able to just write about it.

Below are the arguments that Rabbi Ertel and I presented on the night of November 30, excluding some improvised elements of the presentations:

The case for the latke: presented by Rabbi Eric Ertel

First and foremost, let’s look at HOW the latke is cooked.

It’s literally fried in OIL!! Oil is the whole essence of Chanukah!

The latke’s main ingredient — its very essence — reflects the Mitzvah of the day. You are literally ingesting the Mitzvah.

But not only that, it’s not just cooked with oil, but the latke itself is fried…that alone is a huge merit! Who doesn’t like fried food!!

(Now, sure, that could be a bit of a setback if you’re trying to be healthy…but this is once a year, you have permission to get away with it!)

But let’s examine the texture of the latke for a minute…the surface of the latke, because it’s fried, is hard…like a shell, or like armor!

The latke is tough. Its very consistency is symbolic of the Maccabees. They needed to be hard, and tough to fight a war against their opponents, the mighty Greek army!

In addition to this explanation, the hard outside is also an illusion to…the enemy, and to their strengths! There’s a famous Midrash, that tells us that the Greek army had elephants, plated in armor, ancient tanks if you will!! That Midrash is hinted to in the latke, in the hard, yet tasty shell of the latke.

Not only that…but the latke can be eaten with a variety of condiments! It can be eaten, first off, on its own, without any help.

Then with ketchup! Who in the audience does ketchup? But then it could also be eaten with sour cream? Who does sour cream in the audience?

So, the latke is really dynamic, it has the ability to be eaten with and to work with many components!!……Just like the Cohanim! Boom!!

The Cohanim themselves, were the heroes of Chanukah. The Maccabees weren’t trained soldiers, they were the Cohanim! They were priests.

And these priests, let me tell you, they can bring sacrifices from cows, and goats, or sheep and rams and birds! And with each one of these animals, the Cohen had to know the anatomy of each type of animal to perform the sacrifice…I mean, these guys were like trained vets!

The Cohanim were extremely talented and well-versed with all of the temple services. Again, extremely dynamic, symbolized by the latke!

So, to sum up:

1. The latke is cooked in oil, and absorbs that oil, so the person involved with its preparation and its eating, is completely immersed in the Mitzvah of the day.

2. It’s fried, that’s an amazing bonus. Can never go wrong with fried food.

3. That hard texture is symbolic of the Maccabees who had to be tough in order to fight.

4. The hard texture is also an illusion to the armor of the Greeks’ elephants.

5. The latke can be eaten with many condiments.

6. The latke is dynamic, symbolic of the Cohanim themselves.

The case for the hamantash: presented by Jacob Kamaras

My Fellow Jewish Americans,

In these unprecedentedly unprecedented times, I am here to tell you that although the hamantash may not be the food that we want right now, it is absolutely the food that we need right now.

Purim is the holiday of Venahafoch Hu — of things being turned on their head. For instance, Haman getting hanged on the same tree that he had prepared for Mordechai. And today, in a world turned upside down by the unprecedented, unparalleled, unhinged, chaotic, turbulent, fraught, unthinkable, uncertain times of COVID-19 — from Delta to Omicron — I suggest that we embrace this topsy turvy mentality and eat the defining food of Purim during the festival of Chanukah. After all, why should we care about eating seasonal foods when we live in San Diego, the city that has no seasons? Think of the latke as a pumpkin spice latte. Nuff said.

In fact, for the global Jewish people, there could be no greater revenge against the current state of the world than eating the hamantash, a food named after a villain who sought to annihilate the Jewish people. Isn’t it beautifully ironic? Don’t ya think?

Now, if you aren’t into the spirit of Opposite Day, consider your bottom line. What are we going to do about the oil crisis? How are we going to get these gas prices under $5 again? Well, eating latkes certainly won’t help. Consuming fried foods also won’t help us defeat heart disease, which remains the leading cause of death in the U.S. each year — yes, even deadlier than COVID. So, please throw away your frying pans, and join me in ushering in this new era of baking!

Regrettably, the latke is also a highly disturbing source of division in the Jewish community. Do you like yours with apple sauce or sour cream? Well, why should we even need to ask that question? Interestingly enough, sweet or savory is precisely the subject of tonight’s debate, but the latke can’t even settle that internal debate for itself! The hamantash, however, can stand on its own — without any controversy surrounding its toppings.

And I’m glad that I mentioned toppings. While the latke is enhanced by toppings, the hamantash is enhanced by fillings. A filling is wholly integrated into the food itself — it’s a cohesive unit. But a topping is merely an accessory. It’s disconnected, disjointed, and I would say, disconcerting.

Listen, let me be a little vulnerable for a moment. I know that I’m the underdog tonight. I’m a civilian, just a regular dude, going up against a rabbi. I’m not even citing any other rabbis in my arguments. And I’m vouching for the hamantash during a week when everyone’s focused on latkes. But that, my friends, is exactly the point. It’s time to embrace the underdog. Turn your diet upside down in this world turned upside down. Go against the grain. Stick it to the man! Vote hamantash!

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Jacob Kamaras is Managing Editor of the San Diego Jewish World