By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Now that the low hanging fruit of blatantly perverted and racist books have been banned by school boards in many states, it’s time to start evaluating the deleterious impact that the most frequently assigned books by schools have on the impressionable minds of tweens and teenagers.
The Bible: Contains too much violence, interracial trysts (Solomon and Sheba), homosexuality (David and Jonathan), and rape (Dinah). It also promotes socialism. After all, Jesus was a radical outside agitator who favored the meek over the rich and powerful. And do we really want our kids to read about the orgies that went on in Sodom and Gomorrah which were the forerunners of Las Vegas?
The Odyssey: This pagan book promotes polytheism. Worse yet, while Odysseus’ wife Penelope remains chaste, Athena persuades her to date men which might motivate today’s youth to log on to Tinder.
Romeo and Juliet: A glorification of underage romance. Romeo is 16, and Juliet 13. It also vilifies parents which undermines authority and the nuclear family in our society.
Moby Dick: If this novel is allowed to remain on school library bookshelves, it’s title must be changed. What lascivious thoughts will students have when the read that the great sperm whale is named dick and has a blowhole?
1984: On the one hand, the idea of newspeak is useful in exposing the fake news of the lamestream media. On the other hand, is it a good idea to have students believing that their government lies to them, especially since Ronald Reagan was President in 1984?
The Great Gatsby: It’s derogatory depictions of the wealthy provide grist for the communist agenda of the Democrats.
The only book which has achieved consensus approval for inclusion in school libraries around the country is Fahrenheit 451. It has received a big boost from Tennessee legislator Jerry Sexton who, when asked what should be done with banned books replied, “I don’t have a clue, but I would burn them.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.