By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — This week’s parasha, Behar, instructs us not to wrong another with ona’at mamon, “wronging one another with respect to monetary matters,” and with ona’at devarim, “wronging one another with words.” “And you shall not wrong, one man his fellow Jew, and you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord, your God.” The Talmud tells us that wronging another through the use of words is a more serious offense because monetary wrongs can be more easily corrected (Baba Metzia 58b).
Despite “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me…unless I hurt myself with those words,” contemporary medical research supports the Torah and tells us that words can hurt. Words alone can activate our brain’s pain processing center. Much depends on how we perceive those words of course, but they can hurt. Our tradition teaches us the irrefutable importance of doing whatever we can to avoid hurting another with words and with deeds.
The parasha tells us, “And if your brother should become impoverished, and the hand he has with you shall fail; then you shall support him; as a stranger and a settler shall he live with you.” Notice it does not say to mock him, think you are better than him, gossip about him. The Ramban brings the concept of piku’ach nefesh, saving a life, to the notion of supporting him “so that your brother shall live with you.” We are sustainers.
Ona’at devorim, words that cause pain, are a great source of harm. The Talmud tells us that words that cause pain is considered worse than cheating someone financially. Do you see the link here? Words once spoken cannot be taken back. They cause long-lasting pain in others. If words can bring this type of suffering, how does this sit with the lesson of this week’s Torah reading, that we are to support one who has fallen, to save another’s life, to sustain another?
The parasha begins by teaching us about the mitzvah of Shemittah, which requires us to allow the ground to lay fallow every seven years. We also learn about Yovel, the Jubilee year occurring in the 50th year after every seven Shemittah cycles. In this year, we are told we must free all Jewish servants. Interestingly, we learn in Kiddushin 20a, that when one acquires a Jewish servant, one has acquired a master.
We are obligated to provide for the wellbeing of all employees, something in today’s environment that is even more essential – and quite trendy. A warm and supportive work environment, not simply a paycheck, words and acts of kindness and understanding, are required not simply by a wise HR department, but by our Torah. The Torah demands sensitivity be shown from employer to employee, and by extension, to all. Our Torah is clear: the way in which we walk in our life makes a difference to others and to ourselves and brings us closer to Hashem. Reaching out to others, always offering support and comfort, helps us to live out our place as beings created in the image of Hashem.
The list of how we cruelly wrong another with words is seemingly endless, from embarrassing another, commenting on another’s level of religious behavior, to reminding another of being a ba’al teshuva or speaking of past wrongdoing or another’s weaknesses. There are several reasons one wrongs another with words, but it commonly comes down to a false way to make oneself feel better, more superior. The speaker and Hashem know the intent. Which is why, Rashi tells us, the prohibition is followed by, “And you shall fear your God,” since Hashem knows the speaker’s intent.
Many falsely believe that they would be able to follow these Torah laws if their circumstances would be easier. But this is simply not true. The main factor in spiritual and emotional growth does not reside outside of us, but rather in our own inner minds, our own internal drive to do what’s right, regardless of our external situation. Regardless…that’s the key word to keep in mind. With proper inner determination, there is no block to keeping the word of Torah, in this week’s parasha for example, to observing shmittah. This is what we refer to as strength, an inner mindset of limitless thinking. Positive, realistic not toxic, hope, allows us to have the courage and confidence to be open to what can come. Having faith and trust that Hashem is always with us, allows us to open our hearts, our hands, our pockets to others.
We are created in Hashem’s image. Let’s remember this and remind ourselves that the prohibition in this week’s parasha, not to wrong another, serves to prompt us to understand that we are on this earth not merely for ourselves, but fully for others. Imagine how much more peaceful, pleasing, kind, safe, agreeable, and satisfying our lives would be. As John Lennon of The Beatles wrote, “Imagine all the people living life in peace…You may say I’m a dreamer, But I’m not the only one, I hope someday you’ll join us, And the world will be as one.”
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com