By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — There’s a national gun crisis when:
The NRA has more influence than the PTA.
Russia’s bombing of markets and schools generates bipartisan cooperation on aiding Ukraine, whereas domestic massacres result in partisan polarization over common sense gun regulation.
You can purchase a rifle privately without a background check when you’re 18 in Texas but must wait until you’re 21 to purchase beer.
States censor books deemed too controversial for youngsters to read but permit the carrying of weapons in public to intimidate or kill them.
Candidates brandish and fire guns in their ads rather than articulate their positions on issues.
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is dispatching the police after he has murdered and wounded a lot of people.
The number of guns exceeds the number of citizens.
The lives of fetuses are protected better than those of living persons.
21 states require people to obtain a license to drive a car, but not to openly carry a handgun.
It is easier to procure a high-capacity ammunition magazine than it is to subscribe to a magazine.
For those of you who don’t find this column funny, you’re right. Inaction over gun control is not funny!
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.