By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — I suspect Vladimir Putin of planning the mass shooting in Uvalde to overshadow news coverage of the war in Ukraine.
The Texas legislature is considering a bill to arm fetuses with tiny Derringers. It plans to drum up popular support for the measure with the slogan, “The only thing that can stop a bad abortionist is a good embryo with a gun.”
Texas Governor Gregg Abbot has been criticized for sponsoring the bill that lowered the age for purchasing semi-automatic weapons to 18. It is rumored he will respond to such criticism by introducing legislation to permit grammar school students to buy AR-15 style rifles.
President Joe Biden has proposed razing the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde. The residents of Uvalde would prefer if the Uvalde Police Department headquarters were demolished.
To prevent a backlash to lax gun regulation, Fox News has announced a new summer competition show, “America’s Got Shooters.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.