By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Oy! There’s a lot of whining in this week’s Torah reading.
Come to think of it, it appears to be the basis of one of my mother’s oft-repeated sayings, “Keep complaining and I’ll really give you something to complain about.” We are world-class kvetchers, aren’t we? The food isn’t good enough, the seat at the table isn’t good enough, the hotel room isn’t the best, the politics, oy gevalt, the list goes on and on.
Seems the Israelites grew tired of their repetitious diet of manna, pining for fish and other foods they ate “for free” as slaves in Egypt. They demanded meat, fish, and vegetables, claiming, “our soul is parched without anything, we have nothing to look forward to except manna.” Were they pining for the good old days of slavery? Our sages question whether the Egyptian taskmasters really gave the Israelites fish “for free” and suggest that the “freedom” that they were recalling in Egypt was a freedom from morality and responsibility (Midrash Sifrei 11:6).
After all, in Egypt, the Jewish People had not yet received the Torah or the Ten Commandments. Now, for us, a few short weeks since Shavuot, we know what it means to celebrate the wonder of receiving the Torah. So perhaps it was the freedom from Torah, its rules, and its regulations that the Jewish People missed in Egypt.
Rashi on this, asks, “What does it mean, ‘for free’”? Egypt didn’t give the Israelites straw to make bricks, but they gave them fish “for free”? No. Rashi clarifies “for free” means free from the mitzvot. While slaves, they were under no obligation to perform the mitzvot. They were protesting about the responsibilities that their freedom brought! Wouldn’t it be lovely to be an adult with no responsibilities? I don’t believe so. Think being a slave was difficult? Perhaps they believed performing the mitzvot was more of a burden. But how could that be?
It strikes me that the Israelites experienced what many do when it comes to self-improvement…they find that change is a difficult process. Their mindset as free people remained one of slavery. Adjusting to a life of freedom required disconnecting from the mindset of slavery. They were free but they craved what they had as slaves. What they were experiencing was what Rabbi Abraham Twerski calls the “Spirituality Deficiency Syndrome.” The Israelites were not fully aware of Hashem in their lives.
Our freedom brings the joy of responsibility, the joy of a meaningful relationship with Hashem, the joy of performing the mitzvot He put into our lives for our wellbeing – not the joy of the latest pair of designer sunglasses. In the parasha it says,
| “But now, our souls are dried out, for there is nothing at all; we have nothing but manna to look at.” | ווְעַתָּ֛ה נַפְשֵׁ֥נוּ יְבֵשָׁ֖ה אֵ֣ין כֹּ֑ל בִּלְתִּ֖י |
What does it mean, nafsheinu y’veishah, literally ‘our souls are dried out’? Rabbi Twerski’s “SDS” suggests that the Israelites weren’t complaining about anything material, but rather they suffered from a disconnect with their spiritual source. By not performing mitzvot, they lacked a connection to Hashem’s presence in the world and became spiritually dried out. On the other hand, those who engage in Torah learning remove the barriers to leading a richly Jewish life, which in turn leads to performing more mitzvot. Torah learning nurtures spirituality and unites our mind, body, and spirit, offering us a far richer and more meaningful level of observance and a far more beautiful, optimal level of living. Empty of faith, means empty of the knowledge that Hashem will insure we move through the difficult days, and the better days as well. Empty of emunah, that is the real key to success in living well.
Perhaps Ben Zoma has a response to this that might protect us from SDS. “Who is rich?” he asked, to teach us the answer, “Those who are happy with what they have.” (Pirke Avot 4:1). You see, being able to unconditionally accept life as Hashem determines it for each of us, seeing and being grateful for His role in our lives, is a key ingredient to living with optimal happiness, comfort, joy, and wellbeing. Accepting with faith that regardless of the opportunity – the “sandpaper” He places in our lives, it is “min Hashamayim” מין השמיים, Heavenly sent from Him.
But then disaster strikes. The people complain, and God exacts punishment. Rather than seeing the opportunity that lay before them, the Israelites were too concerned about their immediate (and largely individual) needs. Winston Churchill is said to have said: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. “
This is a seriously important lesson for parents to teach, especially in today’s covetous culture. Do you want to raise children who are greedy, envious and gluttonous or are empathetic, kindhearted, and happy with what they have? Are you teaching the value of the simple needs of life or grumbling and whining about the material goods you don’t have? Ultimately the Torah teaches, and life demonstrates, that it’s the non-material that brings true treasures and happiness.
But beware of advertising, social media, shopping malls that want our children to learn another message about riches, one that stands opposite what the Torah teaches. The Torah is Hashem’s ultimate gift to us, his love letter to the Jewish People. When we take the Torah out, we repeat from this week’s parasha, “And it was when the Ark traveled, Moshe said, ‘Arise Almighty and disperse Your enemies, and those who hate You will flee from You.'” The materialistic culture stands as an enemy, opposite the Torah definition of who is “rich.” When we take the Torah out this Shabbat, be reminded of your role in instructing your children about complaining, greed, materialism and what the Jewish understanding is of being “rich.
When we hear the vayehi binesoa this Shabbat, may we all stop for a moment and be mindful of what truly matters, our loyalty to Torah and mitzvot, and may we and our children, and our children’s children, IY”H, always bring nachas to Hashem and to all of K’lal Yisrael.
Shabbat Shalom
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com