Satire: Dictionary of Select Committee Testimony

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

Partisan Witch Hunt=The committee consisting of 6 Democrats and 2 Republicans formed after Kevin McCarthy rejected a proposal for a committee that would have had equal representation for both parties.  Also look under self-fulfilling prophecy.

Premature Tabulation=Claiming victory before all the votes are counted.  Also look under slogan “Stop the Real.”

A Clean Slate=Electors who support Trump regardless of whether he won their states.

Off the Wall=Guests invited to the Trump White House had the option of eating at the table or off the wall after he threw a tantrum.

MAGAometer=Pseudo-security device which allows armed people to enter restricted areas.

Capitol Offence=Before Congress can certify a presidential election, occupy the Capitol and prevent it from happening.

Commandeer and Chief =What the Secret Service called Trump after he tried to grab the steering wheel of the Beast.

Mike Drop=Synonymous with Hang Mike Pence.

Beg Pardon= If you see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil, you’ll get one.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.comSan Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.