Single Mom Stokes Her Son’s and Her Own Jewish Faith

Crooked Lines: A Single Mom’s Jewish Journey by Jenna Zark; Virginia Beach, Virginia: Köehlerbooks (c) 2022; ISBN 9781646-637485; 218 pages including a glossary; $17.95.

SAN DIEGO — After her divorce from her cantor husband, author Zark wanted to make certain that the small son whose custody they shared would be brought up Jewishly in both homes.  She wanted to make Shabbats and the full range of Jewish holidays interesting and accessible to their son, and in the process, she reflected upon the meanings of the holidays, Torah passages, and various Jewish customs.

Sometimes, Zark, an author and playwright, had emotional responses, as for example when their son had his brit milah;  other times, she engaged in intellectual speculation about the aftermath of well-known stories in Hebrew literature.  For example, after Queen Esther revealed to King Ahasuerus that she was Jewish, did they ever discuss Judaism and its teachings further?

In this book of 55 short essays, one can’t help but admire the range of Zark’s thought, her candor, and the way she treated her ex-husband with respect throughout the book, never indulging in bitterness.

Zark also tells of falling in love and marrying a Christian man, and of her second husband’s delight in learning more about Judaism.  Although he never converted from his Episcopalian religion, Pete attended Jewish services and enthusiastically participated in home celebrations.

The author had drawn inspiration from the Purim story: “If Esther married a Persian king to make sure the Jews survived, doesn’t Purim show us no one can break your faith if you believe in it strongly enough?”   To a friend attending a Purim celebration, she added: “You know, Esther wasn’t married to a Jewish man, either.  But she did all right, don’t you think?”

As families who go through the “December dilemma” — Christmas vs. Chanukah — are aware, Christian festivities can have a strong pull on a child.  While Zark and her second husband never had a large Christmas tree in their living room, Pete did keep a desk-size Christmas shrub in the home.  Would this somehow lure their son away from Judaism?  Not for a minute.  With his mother devoted to keeping the faith and his father serving as a cantor, the boy grew up loving Judaism.  Ultimately, he became a cantor like his father, and, yes, he married a Jewish woman.

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Donald H. Harrison is editor emeritus of San Diego Jewish World.  He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com