By Laurie Baron
Families of victims of 9/11 are protesting the holding of the LIV tournament at Donald Trump’s golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey, because LIV is funded by Saudi Arabia which they blame for abetting the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers. Trump claims this is merely a sporting event that has nothing to do with politics. A closer examination reveals that the Saudis and Trump are using the tournament to promote their respective agendas.
Female spectators are required to wear veils and dress modesty. To show how liberal the Kingdom has become, they will be allowed to drive golf carts. Before they attend, however, their husbands must sign a permission form. The fleet of electric golf carts is being retrofitted with gas burning engines.
Golfers who attest that the 2020 presidential election was rigged will be granted Mulligans on all their tee, iron, and putting shots. When they hand in their score cards, those who believe Biden won the election will have their scores recounted and promptly invalidated.
The Saudis are offering free golfing lessons. There is a lot of interest in the one on correcting slicing taught by Saudi security agents who have honed this skill over many years. Reporters covering the tournament have been warned not to register for that lesson.
Although Saudi Arabia has not signed the Abraham Accords, it is sponsoring a Jews for Jared booth at the tournament.
The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers will provide security for the tournament. Their golf bags not only contain clubs and flag poles, but also semi-automatic Sand Blasters.
In return for hosting the LIV tournament, the Saudis have promised Trump that they will increase oil production to lower gas prices after his projected landslide victory in 2024.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.