By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
With half of the month of Av behind us, many of us are focused on the benefits the month of Elul and the High Holy Days present to us. How will we change for the better? How we improve ourselves and become better than we’ve been? Surely, we know that our past does not define us, but rather what we do today determines our ability to live more optimally. Not surprisingly, this week’s Torah reading points us in a direction of self-improvement.
We are told, “Cut away, therefore, the thickening about your hearts and stiffen your necks no more.” OK, relax. No, we don’t have to perform actual surgery on ourselves, but we would be wise to follow His directions. “For your G-d, Hashem, is G-d Supreme and Eternal Supreme, the great, the mighty and he awesome G-d, who shows no favor and takes no bribe, but upholds the cause of the orphan and the widow, and befriends the stranger, providing food and clothing. You must befriend he stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.”
- Show no favor
- Take no bribe
- Uphold the cause of the widow and the orphan
- Befriend the stranger
- Provide food and clothing to those in need
Seems straightforward, doesn’t it? That’s how we cut away the thickening around our hearts and loosen our stiff necks. That’s how we become closer to Hashem. And when we become closer to Him, we see the good in everything that surrounds us, that He provided to us, even what may not appear to be in our best interests at first sight. Does this lead to feelings of gratitude for what He’s brought to our lives?
It says in the parasha, “When you have eaten your fill, give thanks to Hashem for the good land which He has given you.” From this we learn how important gratitude is for us to live with more emotional – and physical – wellbeing. Parashat Eikev teaches us from the beginning, with Moshe assuring Benei Yisrael that in reward for their observance of the Torah’s laws, God would bless them with prosperity, health, children, and triumph over enemy nations. These rewards are promised “eikev tishme’un” – “because you will obey” God’s laws.
In 2014, I wrote in a health publication that “gratitude is medicine.” “If you are deeply thankful: you count your blessings, notice the simple joys of daily life, acknowledge everything you have in positive ways and you are more likely to engage in healthier behaviors and take better care of yourself.”
But the true source of this is what we learn in Pirke Avot 4:1, “Who is rich? Those who rejoice in their own portion.” Of course, we can grouse about what we don’t have. But why not follow this teaching, and the lesson of the Hasidic teacher Rebbe Nachman of Breslov who writes, “Gratitude rejoices with her sister joy and is always ready to light a candle and have a party. Gratitude doesn’t much like the old cronies of boredom, despair and taking life for granted.” Seems these teachings are telling us that being humble, being grateful, help us live healthier and with greater wellbeing.
While Moshe delivers his parting words to the Jewish people in advance of their crossing the Jordan River to enter Eretz Yisrael, he informs them that they will be enjoying prosperity and triumph, something we are always taught comes with the land of Israel, “overflowing with milk and honey.” And at the same time, he gives them warning to not allow this prosperity to blind them to the source of their security, Hashem, to not forget to be grateful. Moshe says, “Your heart will become haughty, and you will forget (“veshachachta”) Hashem, who took you out of Egypt.” He reminded the people, us, that Hashem protected us in the wilderness, and miraculously provided us with our nourishment of food and water. He understood that material success often leads to arrogance and forgetting the true source of success.
Look closely at the word “veshachachta” and you will see a direct link to a proper course of action. The “vav” can be interpreted as either “because” or “and.” We can read the sentence as our heart will become haughty “and” we will forget Hashem, or our heart will become haughty because we will forget Hashem. Which is it for you? This is the time of the year to deeply reflect and see our own ingratitude, our thanklessness, our unappreciativeness. These are what stand between us and our “uncircumcised” hearts. Arrogance rests in these emotions.
Rabbi Mordechai Gifter in his Pirke Emunah teaches us based on the Ibn Ezra’s understanding, that genuine gratitude to Hashem requires more than a muttering of “Baruch Hashem,” a quick meaningless “thank you,” but rather a deeper, “grateful thinking.” Think about the depth of the circumstance you were in just before receiving the blessing, the benefit. If you want to be a person of gratitude, to walk with this “medicine,” think about not just the good He has bestowed on you but consider the pain you felt prior to being blessed. This is consistent with contemporary cognitive approaches in psychological education and coaching. Perhaps we will actually see that inner peace is the new success, that kindness is the new cool.
Let’s hope and pray that this Shabbat we search for a new mitzvah, deepen our connection to a prayer we’ve simply mumbled through over the past year, begin singing a new nigun that’s caught our attention during services, and above all, work intentionally on deepening and growing our authentic gratitude. Hashem is waiting for us to take the steps He’s taught us in this week’s parasha, indeed, in every parasha, to become better, to become closer to Him. Not just in our words, but in our actual mindset and in our deeds. This is, after all, our chance to move closer to the new year with a clean start, and connect with Him, with ourselves, with others, in purer, better, healthier and more optimal selves.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com