Satire: Anne Frank’s Dirty Diary

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron

The Keller Independent School District in Keller, Texas, has removed the graphic novel The Diary of Anne Frank by Ari Folman from its libraries in response to a complaint lodged by irate parents that it is not age appropriate for children to read unless they do so under adult supervision. Here’s the school district’s rationale:

“Right on the cover, the book announces that it is a graphic novel. The Merriam-Webster definition of graphic is ‘using offensive or obscene words or showing things vividly.’ Our children must be protected from anything offensive, obscene, or overly vivid.”

Folman restores material relating to female genitalia and homosexuality that Otto Frank had deleted from the standard edition of the diary. Young girls should not know that they even have genitalia until they learn about their sexual use for the first time with their husbands on their wedding night. Moreover, Anne had a cat which often is referred to a more vulgar term. This was what Donald Trump called female genitalia, but he’s an adult so that didn’t disqualify him from becoming the greatest president in American history.

Anne Frank

Anne’s mentioning that she had been attracted to one of her girlfriends reflects the well-known fact that the Netherlands has many dikes. Her boyfriend’s name Peter also may be a double-entendre for her implied love affair with him. Why were they even allowed to live together?

Children should revere and obey their parents. Anne did neither regarding her mother and set a bad example.

Anne’s story does not end happily. We don’t want our children to become cynical or be traumatized.

Decision: Hide all copies of The Diary of Anne Frank in the school’s attic so they can’t even be found by FBI gestapo agents if the Department of Justice intervenes to return the book to the school district’s library.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.comSan Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.