By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
Remember leaving services last Yom Kippur, the grandeur of Neilah upon us, filled with promises to live better lives? Yet so soon afterwards many old habits reemerged – maybe even before that first morsel of food was swallowed, after the long fast. Like January’s New Year’s resolutions to “eat less and move more” that quickly fade before February, we make promises to transform during the Days of Awe, that are fleeting and short-lived. We’re human. We are filled with introspection, we repent, we make promises, and then fall asleep until the next Yom Kippur. And here we are again.
Interestingly on this Shabbos Shuva we typically think in terms of “return.” That conjures moving back, returning to something in our past. However, this “return” is meant to inspire us to move forward to repent and to renew our present and future link to Torah, to our authentic best selves, to Hashem. This return is a growth mindset that is anchored in time, developing greater self-awareness that is essential for self-development, moving from darkness to light. This process of personal transformation enables us to shift into the person we want to be and to live the life we would like to live…closer to Hashem, with greater faith, and more aligned with our Jewish community. In his writings on Shabbos Shuva, the S’fat Emet refers to those who truly seek forgiveness as m’chadshim, literally “renewers” or “re-creators.”
In this week’s parasha, the shortest in the Torah, we are told three times, “Be strong and courageous” (Deuteronomy 31:6, 31:7, 31:23). And we are also told, “Be strong and courageous! Neither fear, nor be dismayed of them, for the Lord, your G-d He is the One Who goes with you. He will neither fail you, nor forsake you.”
חִזְק֣וּ וְאִמְצ֔וּ אַל־תִּֽירְא֥וּ וְאַל־תַּֽעַרְצ֖וּ מִפְּנֵיהֶ֑ם כִּ֣י | יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֗יךָ ה֚וּא הַֽהֹלֵ֣ךְ עִמָּ֔ךְ לֹ֥א יַרְפְּךָ֖ וְלֹ֥א יַֽעַזְבֶֽךָּ:
Even with G-d at our side, we fall into spiritual oblivion. Perhaps we don’t genuinely understand that He goes with us, that He doesn’t allow us to fail and doesn’t forsake us. So, what’s missing? Perhaps our eyes and our minds are closed.
A Chassidic story may help open our eyes and awaken our resoluteness. “One day Rabbi Dov Ber, the Maggid of Mezeritch was walking with some of his Chasidim when he saw a little girl standing behind a wall and crying. ‘Why are you crying, little girl?’ he asked. ‘I was playing hide-and-seek with my friends,’ said the little girl, ‘and they didn’t come to look for me.’ Rabbi Dov Ber sighed and said to his Chasidim: ‘In that little girl’s reply I heard the lament of the Shechinah: I will surely hide my face. I hid, as it were, and no one came to look for Me.”
Are we not looking for, seeking Hashem throughout the year? Have we been hiding from ourselves as well? He understands we can’t do it alone, and He tells us we don’t have to, that He is right by our side But, is he hiding? Indeed, the parasha informs us, “And I will hide My face on that day, because of all the evil they have committed, when they turned to other deities.”
וְאָֽנֹכִ֗י הַסְתֵּ֨ר אַסְתִּ֤יר פָּנַי֙ בַּיּ֣וֹם הַה֔וּא עַ֥ל כָּל־הָֽרָעָ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֑ה כִּ֣י פָנָ֔ה אֶל־אֱלֹהִ֖ים אֲחֵרִֽים:
It is up to us to take off our spiritual blindfolds and to genuinely, authentically, search for Him. That’s what He wants! But for those who are spiritually blinded, that search stops. We fail to see the positive signs of G-d’s continual presence, not actually hidden at all. It is up to us to find Him.
The parasha ends with Moses concluding the writing of the Torah. He then directs the kohanim to place the Torah into the ark and asks to speak with all the elders of Israel so all can hear his warnings in the form of a “song” which moves into next week’s parasha, Ha’azinu.
Specifically, we read in Vayeilech, “Now write down this song and teach it to the Israelites,” that is, write or participate in writing, a Sefer Torah. We are told to take our past, carry it with us while renewing, refreshing, recharging our heritage for every generation. This journey of discovery will help us ascend mountaintops and travail those times we despair in life’s deep valleys. Looking for a truly powerful exercise for self-transformation during these days ahead? Try seeing yourself through the eyes of Hashem as He sees you.
The parasha mentions the notion of “song.” This has been the long-established model of our prayer service. We learn in Talmud Brochos that “Tefillot kneged tmidim tiknum,” that “prayer was established in place of the sacrifices”. The Mishnah Tamid teaches that most of the sacrifices were accompanied by the music and song of the Leviim. It is therefore clear that our custom for the past two millennia was that just as the korbanot of Temple times were conducted with song, tefillah was also conducted with song.
Cantor Sherwood Goffin observed that, “It once was true that if you wanted to daven in a shul that sang together, you had to go to your local Young Israel, the movement that first instituted congregational melodies c. 1910-15. Most of the Orthodox congregations of those days – until the late 1960s and mid-70s – eschewed the concept of congregational melodies. In the contemporary synagogue of today, however, the experience of the entire congregation singing an inspiring melody together is standard and expected.” Davening together, with one heart, brings us authentically closer.
This week, on Shabbat Shuva, with Yom Kippur days away, Vayeilech provides us with another opportunity for continued High Holiday self-improvement. The parasha obligates us to write our own Torah, just as Hashem instructed Moses to do.
How can we do this? We’ve been introspective, exploring our own behaviors, over the past several weeks, looking within to come closer to Hashem. But we are not Torah scribes, competent to write a piece to go inside of a mezuzeh let alone a sefer Torah. But we can write our own Torah by sponsoring a sofer in writing one, or even a letter or a line or two. Or more powerfully, we can become a living personification of the Torah in our behaviors each day. Do we bring bits of Torah knowledge into our daily lives from the Ten Commandments to Shabbat? Do we always speak warmly and in a kindhearted respectful way to all we come across? Do we include and greet all, or only some? These behaviors begin to fulfill “writing a Torah,” becoming a living example of Torah. When people see you do they see a glow and wonder what self-help book you’ve been reading? It’s the Torah, of course. By becoming a walking Torah, one who seeks and pursues justice, we exemplify the message of Vayeilech. We can become a letter, a line, in the Torah by the way we speak and behave.
We begin this path on Rosh Hashanah, looking within to discover our self-created obstacles that have held us back and have pointed us down other paths. On R’H, we disconnect from, and toss away, these impediments. On Yom Kippur we find Him, reconnect with “strength and courage” to His presence in our lives, free of fear and dismay, with all our mind, body and soul and begin anew…truly transformed and prepared to live more optimally, more inspired, on a higher level in the coming year. True t’shuvah is a process of renewing oneself, making the path toward Hashem a path of tikkun — of taking ourselves apart and putting ourselves back together to be different than before, as Moses did.
It has been a very special honor to be able to write this weekly D’var Torah over the past year for Young Israel of San Diego, for the San Diego Jewish World, and for those many around the world who have requested this weekly email, and I look forward to continuing to do so in the coming year, with the help of Hashem, בְּעֶזְרָת הַשֵּׁם.
Shabbat Shalom שַׁבָּת שָׁלוֹם to all, wishing all an easy and deeply meaningful fast, and a G’mar Chatima Tovah… גמר חתימה טובה May you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for Good.
Finally, to those I have wronged, I ask your genuine forgiveness…
To those I’ve helped, I wish I did more…
To those I neglected, I ask for your sincere understanding…
To those who have helped me, I sincerely thank you and extend all of my gratitude.
*
Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com