By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — When someone came to the Tzemach Tzedek, the third Lubavitcher rebbe for a blessing, the rebbe said, “Think positive and it will be positive.” This week a superb lesson in living optimally comes from Shemot.
Moshe, we learn, wasn’t always a positive thinker. Recall the day following Moshe killing and burying an Egyptian who murdered a Jew, Moshe sees two Jews fighting. He tries to break up the fight and is asked, “Are you going to kill us the way you killed that Egyptian?” Moses is stunned. The Torah reveals that Moshe was fearful upon knowing his actions became public knowledge. Moshe, fearful? Why would he be fearful that “…the matter had become known?” And what can we learn from this? We can see that Moses wasn’t simply a bystander, but an upstander. What does it take to be psychologically strong to act when necessary?
In Shemot 3:11, after God asked Moses to go to Pharaoh in Egypt, Moses asks: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should take the children of Israel out of Egypt?” Hashem answers, “For I will be with you, and this is the sign for you that it was I Who sent you. When you take the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
Hashem appears to be saying “I will be one with you just as you are one with the people for whom you care so much.” Five times in the parasha, Hashem tells Moses that He feels the suffering of the Israelites. Moses, too, felt a tug to connect with his people. Hashem sees this and recognizes Moses’ special quality. We learn in this week’s Torah reading a most contemporary and timely lesson: We are not to simply see the suffering of others, but to experience it fully, as if it is our own–and act to reduce that suffering. As we reduce the pain in others, we then reduce our own.
Undoubtedly you can offer many answers as to why Moses, the most exceptional leader we have ever know, was selected by Hashem. Moses is portrayed as someone who consistently cares for others and beyond empathy, demonstrates compassion by acting on his feeling of care. Just as Hashem is one with his people, Moses is always filled with love, empathy, and compassion for others as well.
Moshe is someone who thinks, feels, and acts to save and to help others. His cognitions, emotions, empathy, and compassion blended together are what made him the leader he was…and the make-up of what we need in our leaders today. Rashi, based on the Midrash, (Shemot Rabba 1:27), adds that Moshe “gave his eyes and heart, and felt troubled for them.” The Midrash adds that Moshe cried after seeing the suffering of his people. Moshe, in other words, felt emotional empathy for the plight of his people. When people preach the need for achus, for empathy, for unity, to avoid sinas chinum, but then ignore others, give some the brush off, show favoritism, that’s not the leadership this week’s parasha is teaching. It’s not the leadership that will survive.
“Our teachers have said: Once, while Moses was tending [his father-in-law] Jethro’s sheep, one of the sheep ran away. Moses ran after it until it reached a small, shaded place. There, the lamb came across a pool and began to drink. As Moses approached the lamb, he said, ‘I did not know you ran away because you were thirsty. You are so exhausted!’ He then put the lamb on his shoulders and carried him back. The Holy One said, ‘Since you tend the sheep of human beings with such compassion, you shall be the shepherd of My sheep, Israel’” (Exodus Raba 2:2)
We learn from contemporary psychology that empathy involves understanding and responding to another’s emotions with emotions that are similar. Sympathy involves feeling regret for another person’s suffering. But compassion is caring for another person’s happiness as if it were your own and acting in a way to help others lighten their burden. For Moses, compassion, love, and kindness were not indicators of weakness, but rather strength. The presence of compassion has the power to heal, and its absence can be fatal. Moses reminds us to bring compassion to each other, to act kindly, to open our hearts to others, and then we too, as Moses, will be one with Hashem. Compassion and justice. These values are the essence of Torah itself. The key verbs in the Torah passage are “heard” “remembered,” “saw,” “knew.” We would be wise to cultivate the courage to practice the pause, breathe, connect with our higher self, and walk that path of connection and compassion.
Moshe has a negative thought and immediately Pharaoh, we are told, hears of the incident, and attempts to kill Moshe. What if Moshe didn’t feel fear or hold rigidly negative thoughts about the incident becoming public? What if Moshe thought instead that what he did was right, was the correct thing to do and had no fear of others becoming aware of the incident? Perhaps Pharaoh would not have responded negatively? Was Moshe’s negative thought tied to Pharaoh’s negative intent? You think it was coincidental? No. This is our lesson.
Is this not the key to our thriving and flourishing currently? Does it take a special person to turn towards others to help them lift their burdens? In Shemot Rabbah (1:27), we learn “He called out to him in the midst of the bush.” Why did Hashem say he would speak only to Moses? Because Hashem saw that Moses “put aside his own affairs to share in the suffering of others.”
Rav Eliyahu Lopian, teaches us that Hashem wanted the Israelites to earn His compassion by living it. Open your eyes to today and see this through the lens of our contemporary times. The Israelites, remember, had no real merit at that time, having sunk to a low level of impurity. Rav Lopian tells us that Hashem created a series of events in which the Israelites could show compassion one to another. Hashem would then show B’nei Yisroel His compassion. To receive Hashem’s compassion, we need to show it to ourselves, feel the pain of each other and open our hearts and hands with sensitivity to others. We are, after all, “Rachamanim B’nei Rachamanim,” merciful people and children of merciful people.
The next time you are given an obstacle or face a challenge in life that may seem to prevent you from fulfilling your purpose, keep in mind that it is always coming FOR your benefit, and remember the Tzemach Tzedek’s wisdom, and Moshe’s behavior. Hashem wants to help, and we need to do our hishtadlus, we need to put in our effort, by thinking and acting in positive ways. “Think positive and it will be positive.”
On this Shabbat, let’s open our eyes and our hearts to all…to all. And may our hearts, in turn, be open to receive the flow of goodness which Hashem bestows upon us all…us all.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com