By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Oy gevalt! Evictions, pleading to “let My people go,” magic staffs, plagues, hardened hearts…read all this and enjoy a peaceful Shabbat? By now we’ve learned that whatever happens in our lives always happens for our benefits. Let’s look at the lessons in this week’s Torah reading, the 14th parasha so far this year.
First, we see the word Va’eira, Hebrew for “and I appeared,” the first word that Hashem speaks in the parasha. Don’t we understand that He always appears? Then we see inside the word, “Mitzrayim,” which means “constriction” or “narrowness,” a hint at what it takes for growth. Rashi teaches us that both Mitzrayim and kotzer contain the root ‘tzar’. He goes on to observe that when we are in a state of mental narrowing, constraint, (meitzar), we physiologically react with shortness of breath (katzar).
This sounds like what contemporary polyvagal theory describes as a state of frozen fright, intense anxiety. Without proper breathing, we lose our connection to life…and without a proper mindset, we lose our connection to Hashem.
On this point, the S’fat Emet brings this thought, “Hearing requires being empty of everything, so that we can hear the voice of Hashem.” In modern day language, we need to be “mindful” to build “resilience” and tanchumim, a calm and peaceful mind to strengthen our connection to Hashem, and to minimize kotzer ruach. The Sforno tells us that kotzer ruach means what the Jewish people were hearing was not believable, while also struggling with the shortness of breath that their anxiety brought upon them. Between their shortness of breath and spiritual lack, they remained in a state of emotional tzuris, of panic. Is this where so many are today?
The Torah helps us see Hashem’s consistent hand in our daily lives, moment by moment. We see this in Rav Yehuda Halevy’s the Kuzari. In the natural it may look to some in our world that Hashem has no involvement or place in our lives. But the parasha teaches us otherwise. We are not left to the winds of nature. Everything happens FOR us through Hashem, not TO us simply as a punishment as Pharaoh viewed life in this Torah reading. When we open our hearts, minds, eyes in prayer, tells Rav Nachman of Breslov, we reach for His support and…He listens. Always. Sometimes, the answer is “No,” but He hears and knows when “No” is not a rejection, but rather a redirection, for our ultimate good. It may look like it won’t turn out well, but Hashem is unlimited. But if we do not step back, practice the pause, and examine what lesson we needed to experience in order to grow, we simply live with unhealthy complaints and exclamation marks (!!!) rather than healthy curiosity and question marks (???). The great ethicist RavAvraham Grodzinsky once observed in Toras Abraham p. 28, “Yisurim, suffering, should not be thought of as a punishment for sins of the past (as Pharaoh demonstrates in this week’s parasha), but rather as an awakening call to prevent sins in the future.
Perhaps this is to teach us that to grow, we’d be wise to disconnect from a mindset of limitations that others have placed on us and to which we’ve become connected. We left what we knew in the constriction and narrowness of Egypt for the great unknown, to fulfill our spiritual mission. After all, we thank Hashem daily for not creating us as slaves – that means we are to break free, to step forward with faith and courage.
But for those who prefer the comfort of the discomfort of what they know, there is no growth, only stagnation. Hashem told Abraham that in the future, we would be oppressed as slaves for hundreds of years in an alien land, but that ultimately, we would leave that land with great wealth. Every stumbling block He gives us is to set us up for a magnificent comeback. Do you see that? Do you believe that? What’s stopping you from beginning this new secular year with the lessons of Va’eira?
How do you handle the pressure of hail in your life? No, not the hail that might fall once every few years in our generally warm San Diego cool rainy seasons. The hail I’m referring to is that which comes as adversity, the type that Pharaoh experienced. Pharaoh told Moshe after the plague of hail “I’ve sinned this time and God is righteous and me and my people are wicked.” But as soon as the hail cleared, Pharaoh stepped back from his admission.
Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel of Slobodka tells us that Pharaoh’s view of suffering was quite limited and thus he saw the hail simply as a punishment. Rabbi Zelig Pliskin teaches us to see the hand of Hashem in our suffering as a kind aid in our self-improvement. When viewed as a benefit, when fully embraced, when seen through the lens of self-examination, pain can be used to help us move forward. How? That means “Hashem opens ways.”
Yes, these are trying times full of emotional distress anchored in the way we see the reality surrounding us. Let’s not pretend that the toxic adversities we face in our lives are good. But let’s help each other with empathy and compassion to offer realistic encouragement and emotional support. The Meshech Chochmah points out that words of false hope, of positivity that another cannot relate to at times of emotional duress, will not be believed, nor will these words be comforting.
When we live our lives Lemala Min Hateva, going beyond the natural, seeing that every breath, every step, every turn, every seeming chance meeting, every seeming obstacle, every stumbling stone, are transformational opportunities given to us by Hashem, well, that is a rich life. And a life that can be free of unhealthy negative emotions.
Looking for emotional protection especially during these days of hail? Torah and mitzvot are the best medicine Judaism offers. It expands our vision of a compassionate Hashem in our lives far beyond the natural, one who can turn those who are against us for us, who can turn the diagnosis around, and who can shield us from harm. Just look at our tzaddikim many of whom experienced plagues and hail of all kinds. Were they diminished? No. Understood through the proper lens, neither will our suffering lessen us, but rather strengthen us and polish us.
Rabbi Soleveitchik tells us to insure we view the world through the eyes of Judaism, to let go of our hold that the secular view of life has had on us, to invite our biblical heroes into our daily lives, to read and study our sources weekly, and to see clearly with gratitude, the hand of Hashem in our every breath. Indeed, the Chofetz Chaim once said that one may not say that things are bad because nothing bad ever comes from Hashem. Things may be bitter, but not bad, much like bitter tasting medicine heals. After all, whether it be plagues of hail or COVID and its growing list of variants, we believe nothing happens unless God wills it. True emunah often requires that we be put to the test.
Indeed, the Stoic philosophers noted that every misfortune that lies outside of our choice is an opportunity to strengthen our resolve, not an excuse to weaken it. Seneca wrote, “You are unfortunate in my judgment, for you have never been unfortunate. You have passed through life with no antagonist to face you; no one will know what you were capable of, not even you yourself.”
There are many contemporary self-help blogs, tools, strategies, and most if not all rest initially on self-awareness (not self-preoccupation in the words of Rabbi Abram J. Twerski, MD). As Rabbi Twersky so beautifully says: “We must be able to accept being wrong, and when we realize that we have lost, admit it with grace.”
It says in the Chovos Halevavos, Shaar Cheshbon Hanefesh, Perek 3, “Tefillah without Kavanah is like a Guf without a Neshomah.” Prayer without intention, sincere feeling, and direction of the heart, is like a body without a soul. When we pray, we would wisely do so with sincere intention. Sincerity and faith can help us set ourselves on the right path as we face life’s challenges. Adversity? We learn repeatedly to see misfortune as an opportunity to discover growth coming entirely from His hand – and, in the discovery, to enhance what we find there.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com