By Oliver B. Pollak
RICHMOND, California — Memorial Day weekend is a long weekend, and for some, four days long. Parks, buildings, auditoriums, stadiums are named for heroes. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington and commemorative postage stamps remind us of sacrifice. If you went to a cemetery this weekend its likely you will see uniformed Boy Scouts directing traffic.
On Friday we attended a memorial for a colleague born around 1934, who fell down a couple of months ago and was hospitalized. We expected her to recover but she died of other causes. I had met Joanne Lafler when I joined the Institute for Historical Study which she helped found in 1980. She was instrumental in establishing the National Coalition of Independent Scholars. The alumni choir, of which Joanne was a member, sang. The memorial was orchestrated by her two daughters with cousins, nieces and grandchildren participating. John, her spouse, calls himself a relict.
A food and wine table included port. A table displayed family photographs, plays she had directed, and copies of her 1989 book: The Celebrated Mrs. Oldfield, The Life and Art of an Augustan Actress. Joanne probably contributed more articles to the 43 year old quarterly IHS Newsletter than any other member. The table also had xerox copies of some of Joanne’s unpublished essays, one of which probably had me in mind, a five-page, double-spaced piece titled “On Being a Bad Jew” written in 1984 and rewritten 14 years later in 1998.
Joanne’s essay was serious with a little wry humor. The family had Eastern European roots. Joanne’s mother was raised in a non-religious, Yiddish-speaking, Socialist household. The fracturing of Jewish identity occurred while still in elementary school. “More than anything else, what made my sister … and me Bad Jews was having a Christmas tree; or, rather, admitting we had one.” We went to school on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur but observed Passover and Channukah. The Reform rabbi was outraged by the Christmas tree, “That was the end of our Jewish education.” The sisters married non-Jews. A couple conversations about Jewish heritage ended with her declaration of being an atheist. Incidentally, since 2000 the title “Bad Jews” has appeared on two books and a 2017 play.
On Saturday I woke to my Forward online with an article by Stuart Rojstaczer, “Why I bought a headstone for a Holocaust survivor I never knew.” Josef Hamerman, born in Poland in 1926, died in 1986 in Milwaukee without money and was buried in an unmarked grave. He had married and divorced his Jewish wife twice. His Christian wife stiffed the funeral home. Joseph apparently was not well regarded. Stuart’s mother tried in 1999 to cadge together enough contributions to purchase a stone but few were interested. She died and Stuart and his uncle picked up the task 20 years later, split the cost, and the stone rose for the dead in October 2022.
Decoration Day started in 1868 shortly after the American Civil War. In 1970, two world wars and many smaller military engagements later, it was renamed Memorial Day. The observance changed from May 30 to the last Monday in May. We remember our wars and our warriors.
Forensic specialists and newspapers thrive on cold cases. DNA discoveries turn the “missing in action” and “unknown soldiers” into much delayed interment ceremonies. On Sunday the Omaha World-Herald reported that the remains of Chief Warrant Officer Larry Zich whose helicopter crashed on April 3, 1972 in an unknown location between Da Nang and Quang Tri City had been found. A single wisdom tooth had been turned over to U.S. authorities in 1988. DNA has linked the tooth to Larry. His widow and daughter will attend the funeral at Lincoln Memorial Cemetery on June 5, 51 years after the crash.
These three episodes emphasize the importance of life, respect for the deceased, consolation for the bereaved, and doing the right thing.
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Oliver B. Pollak, Ph.D., J.D., professor emeritus of history at the University of Nebraska at Omaha, a lawyer, and a member of the Institute of Historical Study, is a correspondent based in Richmond, California. He may be contacted at oliver.pollak@sdjewishworld.com.