By Teresa Konopka
SAN DIEGO — Life is no walk in the park. Every one of us deals with some sort of misfortune sooner or later. From financial to professional to romantic to medical, people experience all sorts of sorrows. These can take the form of bankruptcy, layoff, being dumped, becoming gravely ill, losing a loved one, and so on. Moments of suffering are often unexpected and shocking. Just when everything is going well—BAM!—something bad can happen.
“People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.” (Ecclesiastes 9:12)
When one is in the deepest pit of despair, it is crucial to remember that the pain is only temporary. As the wise King Solomon recounted, life is full of seasons. For every bad season, there is a good season. Or, as the famous saying goes, “this too shall pass.”
“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
While the Tanakh promises good times ahead, this does not lessen the sting of tragedy in the moment. Deep in shock and sorrow, one can not help but wonder if their misfortune is divinely or randomly ordained.
“G-d has drawn his bow and made me the target for his arrows. He shot his arrows deep into my heart.” (Lamentations 3:12-13).
“An Aramean soldier randomly shot an arrow at the Israelite troops and hit the king of Israel between the joints of his armor.” (2 Chronicles 18:33)
Losing those who are near and dear to one’s heart can be particularly devastating. Where family is concerned, this can come in the form of the death of a loved one and/or an older relative declining mentally. Equally tragic is being diagnosed with cancer or struggling with a medical condition. In these moments, it helps to remember that one is never alone.
“But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the LORD, your G-d,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
You are precious to me and I love you.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you.’”
(Isaiah 43:1-5).
Matters of the heart and heartbreak can be especially unbearable. Where romance is concerned, this can come in any form of a severed relationship, whether that be divorce, separation, a broken engagement, or simply the end of a courtship.
“I called to my lover, but he was gone! My heart sank. I searched for him but could not find him anywhere. I called to him, but there was no reply.” (Songs 5:6).
“Like a bear whose cubs have been taken away,
I will tear out your heart.
I will devour you like a hungry lioness
and mangle you like a wild animal.”
(Hosea 13:8)
When one experiences the sting of betrayal or abandonment, it is normal to try and analyze what happened. One may even wonder why G-d would let such hurt occur. Unfortunately those answers may never come. Or, if even answers come, they may be impossible to understand in the moment.
‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’”
(Isaiah 55:8-9)
In the case of King David, G-d encourages him to save townsfolk who later hand him over to his enemies. The biblical exchange is particularly interesting because David asks G-d not once but twice if he should save the people of Keilah. On both accounts G-d tells him to proceed with the rescue mission. When David’s enemy Saul comes to capture him, David asks G-d if the people of Keilah will betray him to Saul. At first G-d simply tells David that Saul is coming and leaves it at that. However, when David presses G-d and asks a second time, G-d tells him that yes the people of Keilah will betray him.
“One day news came to David that the Philistines were at Keilah stealing grain from the threshing floors. David asked the LORD, ‘Should I go and attack the Philistines?’
‘Yes, go and save Keilah,’ the LORD told him.
But David’s men said, ‘We’re afraid even here in Judah. We certainly don’t want to go to Keilah to fight the whole Philistine army!’
So David asked the LORD again, and again the LORD replied, ‘Go down to Keilah, for I will help you conquer the Philistines.’
So David and his men went to Keilah. They defeated Philistines and rescued the people of Keilah.
Saul soon learned that David was at Keilah. ‘Good!’ he exclaimed. ‘We’ve got him now! G-d has handed him over to me, for he has trapped himself in a walled town!’ So Saul mobilized his entire army to march to Keilah and besiege David and his men.
But David learned of Saul’s plan and told the priest to bring the ephod and ask the LORD what he should do. Then David prayed, ‘O LORD, G-d of Israel, I have heard that Saul is planning to come and destroy Keilah because I am here. Will the leaders of Keilah betray me to him? And will Saul actually come as I have heard? O LORD, G-d of Israel, please tell me.’
And the LORD said, ‘He will come.’
Again David asked, ‘Will the leaders of Keilah betray me and my men to Saul?’
And the LORD replied, ‘Yes, they will betray you.’”
(1 Samuel 23:1-12).
In life we may never understand why we experience the hardships that we do. Nevertheless, it is vital that one not let their struggles turn them permanently bitter. Yes, it is normal and even expected to grieve for a time. However, one should not live in sorrow forever. It is also vital that one turn towards healthy outlets when in despair (G-d, friends, hobbies, etc) and not unhealthy outlets (drugs, destructive behavior, etc).
“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD!
I will be joyful in the G-d of my salvation!”
(Habakkuk 3:17-18).
“Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and no one will even think about the old ones anymore.”
(Isaiah 65:17).
In the book of life, there are many sections. While chapters of sorrow all have their end, it is up to each person to turn the page.
“When we were at Mount Sinai, the LORD our G-d said to us, ‘You have stayed at this mountain long enough. It is time to break camp and move on.”
Teresa Konopka is a freelance writer based in San Diego. She may be contacted via teresa.konopka@sdjewishworld.com