By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — And here is where, it seems, many of our current troubles all begin, more than 4,000 years ago. Careful reading of this week’s parasha may help us understand some of the mysteries enveloping today’s events.
| And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, making merry. | טוַתֵּ֨רֶא שָׂרָ֜ה אֶת־בֶּן־הָגָ֧ר הַמִּצְרִ֛ית אֲשֶׁר־יָֽלְדָ֥ה לְאַבְרָהָ֖ם מְצַחֵֽק: | |
| And Sarah said to Abraham, “Drive out this handmaid and her son, for the son of this handmaid shall not inherit with my son, with Isaac.” | יוַתֹּ֨אמֶר֙ לְאַבְרָהָ֔ם גָּרֵ֛שׁ הָֽאָמָ֥ה הַזֹּ֖את וְאֶת־בְּנָ֑הּ כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יִירַשׁ֙ בֶּן־הָֽאָמָ֣ה הַזֹּ֔את עִם־בְּנִ֖י עִם־יִצְחָֽק: | |
| But the matter greatly displeased Abraham, concerning his son. | יאוַיֵּ֧רַע הַדָּבָ֛ר מְאֹ֖ד בְּעֵינֵ֣י אַבְרָהָ֑ם עַ֖ל אוֹדֹ֥ת בְּנֽוֹ: | |
| And God said to Abraham, “Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice, for in Isaac will be called your seed. | יבוַיֹּ֨אמֶר אֱלֹהִ֜ים אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֗ם אַל־יֵרַ֤ע בְּעֵינֶ֨יךָ֙ עַל־הַנַּ֣עַר וְעַל־אֲמָתֶ֔ךָ כֹּל֩ אֲשֶׁ֨ר תֹּאמַ֥ר אֵלֶ֛יךָ שָׂרָ֖ה שְׁמַ֣ע בְּקֹלָ֑הּ כִּ֣י בְיִצְחָ֔ק יִקָּרֵ֥א לְךָ֖ זָֽרַע: | |
| But also the son of the handmaid I will make into a nation, because he is your seed.” | יגוְגַ֥ם אֶת־בֶּן־הָֽאָמָ֖ה לְג֣וֹי אֲשִׂימֶ֑נּוּ כִּ֥י זַרְעֲךָ֖ הֽוּא: |
We are descendants of Abraham and Sarah’s son, Isaac. Arabs are descendants of Abraham and Hagar’s son, Ishmael. Abraham, as we know is a man of unconditional faith, and passes on his unquestioned faith and dedication to Hashem to his children, Ishmael and Isaac.
Ishmael, we learn, was the son of a slave woman and Isaac was promised the blessings of his father. Think that might create some animosity? Add Ishmael’s mocking of his stepbrother, Isaac, which Sarah did not like, and that leads to her asking Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away, causing even more contempt toward Isaac. We learn in the parasha of an angel telling Hagar that her son would father a great nation, and that he would be “a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.”
Sarah was concerned about Ishmael’s negative influence on her son, Isaac, and though the Rabbis have different interpretations of what Ishmael’s behaviors were, (some seeing them as severe sins and others seeing them as disputes over inheritance), the key to understand is that Sarah wanted to ensure that Isaac was recognized as Abraham’s rightful heir, and this led to Hagar and Ishmael’s expulsion. It was certainly a challenging decision for Abraham, but he ultimately followed Sarah’s wishes with the guidance of Hashem, “Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice, for in Isaac will be called your seed. But also, the son of the handmaid I will make into a nation, because he is your seed.” In Midrash Tehilim 18:25, we learn this was one of the ten trials to which Hashem subjected Abraham.
It seems that one of the greatest trials facing religion is how to coexist with people of other faiths without compromising yourself or others. We can ask how we truly — honestly — balance our own absolute beliefs with compassion for those that may not share our beliefs, even within our own religion. Faith in Hashem is faith in all people who are, after all, created in the image of Hashem. Faith in Hashem is faith in the entirety of the human spirit. Faith in Hashem is not about annihilation. Look at how Abraham treated Sodom and visiting strangers. Abraham shows us that “greeting guests is greater than welcoming Hashem.” He epitomizes chesed (love) and faith.
The Kabbalists tell us that Abraham personified kindness, Isaac embodied awe, and Jacob exemplified compassion. Abraham’s son Ishmael also personified kindness. Abraham recognized this and as a result this led Abraham to feel a closeness to him.
So why was Isaac chosen to carry on the legacy of Abraham? When we understand the motivating force behind the kindness of Abraham and Ishmael, we have clarity for why Isaac was the chosen one. The answer lies in the difference between humility and arrogance.
Abraham was fueled by humility, “I am but dust and ashes,” he says when praying for the people of Sodom. Ishmael’s kindness was psychologically anchored in arrogance, in that he believed he was better than those around him, and this led him further from those he attempted to help. Isaac typified awe and fear, resting on humility, and thus was chosen to carry the legacy of Abraham. Ishmael was indeed “wild” and he needed bitul, humility and less ego, to ensure that he was focused on Hashem, not on destruction.
Those with authentic faith don’t destroy others, they inspire others. They don’t turn from others, and they don’t ignore others. Yes, Ishmael inherited his father’s faith, and yes, he would become a great nation, but only when he acknowledges and practices humility, not arrogance. In an interesting sense, being sent away by his father allowed Ishmael to go on to become a great nation.
I was quite surprised to learn of Elie Wiesel’s view of Sarah, and later learned he relied upon his reading of the Ramban, Nachmanides. He commented that when Sarah persecuted Hagar, Sarah committed a sin. Abraham, by not preventing Sarah, was an accomplice. This is why, according to Ramban, Hashem upon hearing Hagar’s cries, gave Hagar a wild son – whose descendants would persecute and plague the descendants of Abraham and Sarah. The Ramban believes the sufferings of the Jewish people derive from those which Sarah inflicted upon Hagar. More on this can be found in Katheryn Darr’s “Far More Precious than Jewels: Perspectives on Biblical Women” in which she quotes Elie Wiesel.
Imagine if instead of building a network of war tunnels, teaching children to hate, firing deadly missiles on Israel, sending suicide bombers, the descendants of Ishmael built a beautiful country for themselves in which to live a life worth living.
Since Ishmael’s conflict with Isaac, there has not been a time when we were not in conflict. We are brothers, cousins, and we owe each other better. After all, recall that on Abraham’s death, Isaac and Ishmael took part in burying him in a cave, at least temporarily overcoming their estrangement. They seemed to have reconciliation at that time.
Perhaps there was not hatred between these two. These brothers gathered to honor their father, Abraham. Most recently, we see Yocheved Lifschitz, the 85-year-old hostage who was released from tortuous kidnapping from Hamas terrorists, walk away from her captors and returned for a moment to say to them “thank you and shalom” for the kindness she was shown during her ordeal. Perhaps our own story can lead us to come together in cooperation to perform acts of lovingkindness. Imagine a world like that…I do.
In a world of contemporary psychology urging us to slow down, to be more aware, to be “mindful,” we would be wise to pay attention to others and seek opportunities to do acts of chessed, of hachnasat orchim, to extend ourselves to those around us. Kindness, benevolence, assistance, self-sacrifice, and love. These are the qualities of Abraham. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said: “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”
In the Talmud, the 3rd-century scholar Rabbi Simlai remarks about the Torah being the literal definition of wisdom and learning: “Techilata gemilut hasadim v’sofah g’milut hasadim, It begins and ends with acts of lovingkindness.” Abraham models for us the honorable, moral life marked by authentic kindness and selfless love throughout the Torah. All people would do well to ask how our father Abraham would react to our behaviors?
May we all learn from Abraham and extend ourselves with alacrity, with love, and grow our authentically positive feelings for others. We need Moshiach energy now!
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com