By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — What an incredible week we’ve got coming up! With the joyous celebrations of Chanukah and the always-awaited Shabbat, it’s a whirlwind of excitement. Amidst the hustle and bustle of our daily lives and the festive happenings, it’s easy to feel like we’re constantly on the move. But let’s face it, all that rushing around doesn’t exactly elevate the quality of our everyday experiences. Luckily, here comes Shabbat, ready to offer us a much-needed pause. It’s the perfect chance to hit the brakes, unwind, and savor the precious moments.
So, on this Shabbat when we read ParashaT Vayeishev, what can we learn about pushing that pause button? After all, Jacob did as we see in the Torah reading. It says in the first verse, “Vayeishev Yaakov b’eretz megurie aviv,” “Jacob settled in the land where his father had sojourned.”
He moves there to find his “Rancho Mirage,” his place of tranquility, following all the tsuris he’s faced. Enough with wrestling and wandering, how about just some peace? He had just come through a rough 22 years of living with Lavan, the threat of a war with Esav, trouble with his wives, worries about an income to support his family, a dislocated hip, and more. He wanted some shalom. On this, Rashi brings us a Midrash which says that when Hashem heard that Jacob wanted to dwell at ease, He asked: “Is it not enough for the righteous that they have such a large reward waiting for them in the world to come that they wish to live at ease in this world too?”
In the grand tapestry of existence, it becomes evident that the divine design of Hashem has placed us on this earthly realm to refine and elevate ourselves, calls for us to be active in our own self-growth. Active, not passive. The call to achievement and fulfillment is a sacred mission, an invitation to dance with the rhythm of accomplishment and self-realization. As we ardently strive for self-improvement, we find ourselves harmonizing and contributing to the sacred Tikun Olam – the restoration and unity of the world according to His Divine plan.
Choosing the active, not passive, path of “self-perfection” is not merely a personal endeavor; it becomes a spiritual partnership with Hashem. In embracing this higher purpose, we consciously unite with His desire to unite with us in the beautiful act of repairing and reuniting the fractured facets of our world. Each step taken in the pursuit of personal growth is a brushstroke in the masterpiece of Tikun Olam, a testament to our commitment to the His blueprint of harmony and unity.
Can adopting the footsteps of Jacob, deliberately decelerating, immersing oneself in the present, and forging a profound understanding of one’s identity, serve as a potent antidote to the prevailing frenzy we face? Modern psychology resoundingly affirms that this choice not only embodies a wise lifestyle decision, but also emanates as a commanding act of self-empowerment.
Yet, Judaism teaches us that peace of mind and tranquility alone are not clear goals. Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb brings this observation. “The Torah’s ideal is a life of action and involvement in worldly affairs. The Torah rejects the attitude of detachment and passivity, which is implicit in the teaching of Eastern religions. The Torah cannot envision the good life if that life is without challenge. Achievement of inner peace is not the ultimate value, especially not if it results in withdrawal from responsible actions within society.”
It is said that Rabbi Mendel of Kotzk once asked the disciple of another rabbi who had recently died: “What was most important to your teacher?” The disciple considered the question and then replied: “Whatever he happened to be doing at the moment.” The “now” is far more important to our health and wellbeing than our yesterday, which we can’t change, or our anticipated tomorrow and what it may – or may not – bring. Staying in the now, being deliberate in our mind as we feel our feet touch the earth, is the only thing we can count on and know. And it’s the only place in which we can connect with Hashem.
As we celebrate Chanukah during a most challenging time in the history of our generation, we may learn from this parasha that setbacks in life are never permanent. Look at how we triumphed over the attraction of an alien culture to bring this Festival of Lights. Not by removing ourselves from the harsh conditions we faced and face.
Just when we think all is well in our family, in our career, in our lives, Hashem shows us He has another lesson for us to learn. It seems the only thing predictable in life is how unpredictable it can be.
A lesson? Yes, a lesson. This is based on the Hasidic notion of yeridah tzorech aliyah, meaning “descent for the sake of ascent.” Every setback is a setup for a comeback. The only reason we fall is to rise. Perhaps this is a key life lesson in this week’s parasha.
Drawing wisdom from Rashi, we glean insight into Jacob’s desire for a tranquil respite, a serene sanctuary of peace, or “shalva.” However, life unfolded differently, challenging this quest for undisturbed tranquility. Yet, rather than viewing it as a mistake on Jacob’s part, we can perceive it as a noble aspiration for peace.
Delving into the teachings of the Ramban, a profound truth emerges – we may meticulously plan our paths, but the ultimate orchestration lies in the hands of the divine, encapsulated in the principle, “Hagezera emet, vehacharitzut sheker.” This revelation invites us to understand life as a collaborative dance between our free will and Hashem’s grand design for us.
In the poetic verses of Mishlei 19:21, “There are many thoughts in a man’s heart, but Hashem’s plan–that shall stand,” we find solace and affirmation that while myriad thoughts may reside within our hearts, it is Hashem’s unwavering plan that prevails. It beckons us to embrace our partnership with the divine, navigating the delicate balance between our aspirations and the sublime blueprint crafted by a higher power. In this symbiotic journey, we discover not only the resilience of our own spirit but also the comforting constancy of Hashem’s guiding hand.
At the beginning of the parasha, we read that Jacob sent Joseph to Hebron. But later Joseph sees it’s all Hashem’s will, and shares with his brothers, “So it was not you who sent me here, but Hashem” (Genesis 45:8). Vayeishev, perhaps more than any parasha, teaches us that downturns aren’t permanent.
Do you presently see His hand in your life, in the “now”? When His plan deviates from our own hopes and dreams, do we come closer to Him or are we so shaken that we turn away? Do we not learn that every setback is a setup for a stronger comeback? When we daven, when we pray, we would be wise to be mindful of the words that teach us that, like Joseph who saw that Hashem was always with him in his present, that He is with us, teaching us, guiding us, and always assisting us. Those fortunate enough to see this undoubtedly lead a rich, comforted, life. Nachum Ish Gamzu and later Rabbi Akiba certainly saw this. From Nachum Ish Gamzu’s name we learn the phrase, “gam zu l’tovah” meaning, “This, too, is for the good.” And from Rabbi Akiba we learn, “Kol man d’avid Rachmana l’tav avid,” which means, “All that the Merciful One does, He does for good.” Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it. Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of life, and it’s there for our growth.
Our task is not to detach, to sit removed from the strife in our world. Ours is to be resilient and grow, with faith, by actively engaging in life’s difficulties in the moment, in the “now.” We do, we act, we don’t sit and let life, and the current turmoil, simply take place.
We see today the fervent desire for tranquility and peace, something all are praying for, donating for, doing for…donating, davening and doing. Hope is an eternal beacon, a guiding light that never dims. In the face of adversity, when it feels like we’re navigating through the darkest tunnels of life, we possess an incredible power within us—the power to grow, to gather wisdom, and to emerge transformed. Our potential for a brighter tomorrow knows no bounds!
We are wise to recognize how important it is for us to first find internal peace and tranquility. As we continue to increase in our love, renewal, and healing during this time of adversity, may our Chanukah lights add clarity to our vision and help us more unambiguously partner with and openly dwell with the One who truly lights and guides our lives.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com